Let the countdown begin! (ugh)
Well today is May 1st and most people are thrilled. Winter is over (although this past winter in Central New Jersey was VERY mild) and Memorial Day is around the corner and then it will “officially” be summer. Time for the beach, back yard bbqs, longer days and kids on summer vacation.
When I was little, May was my absolute FAVORITE month because my birthday is May 20th. I remember whining through the first half of the year, jealous of all the winter birthday babies (like my brother), always asking my mother why I didn’t have a January birthday. Back then birthdays meant cake, parties and most importantly presents!!
Birthdays are a big deal in my family and we celebrate everyone’s with cake (of their choice) and a “party” . When I first met my husband he thought this was very weird since his immediate family barely acknowledged birthdays (to this day my MIL will call my husband 2-3 days BEFORE his birthday to wish him a “happy birthday”). Why are we going to X’s house for birthday cake? he would ask every month until March rolled around and it was his turn. Suddenly the birthday thing was pretty cool.
I always loved my birthday and didn’t really mind getting older (relatively speaking). In high school I counted down the days till I turned 17 and could drive and in college, my 21st birthday couldn’t come fast enough. Once I graduated from college though, things changed and birthdays weren’t as “fun” as they used to be. Sure there were special milestones (25yo - met husband; 28yo – got married; 34 – had twins etc.) but each year it got a little harder to celebrate getting older.
This was especially true around age 38. It became very clear that 40 was just around the corner and I could no longer consider myself in my early or even mid-30. I was one step closer to 40 which was O-L-D.
Ugh, the big 4-0!! I couldn’t even let my mind go there. 40 is not cool, 40 is 40. Remember when you were little and you would hear that someone was 40? Remember the images you would conjure up in your head?
I know I am being ridiculous. Age is a number, you are only as old as you feel blah blah blah. I know that I will be the same person on May 19th that I will be May 20th. I will look the same and my life will be the same – I get it.
I am happy with the changes I have seen in myself over the years. I am not the same person now that I was at 22 (thank god). I am even looking forward to this next chapter but it’s a little bittersweet.
I am not alone in how I feel. The Class of 1990 all turns 40 this year and there have been many Facebook posts talking about it. Some people could care less, some were a little scared/sad and other threw big parties. I guess it is all in your mind-set.
I have mentioned this birthday in other blogs before and I have gotten great feedback from friends who are already 40. It makes me feel a little better. I am gonna try to not dwell for the next 19 days and I will even try to enjoy the actual day. (The husband and I are going on an overnight trip to Cape May and I will be able to sleep all night (uninterrupted) and past 6am the next day!! ) There will be cake and presents and friends and family (my kids especially) that want to take me out to celebrate. I guess it won’t be that bad. Besides I can always lie about my age if anyone dared to ask.
ps – If you are still in your 20s PLEASE do not tell me that 40 isn’t old or that you feel old at the ripe old age of 27 – thanks!