I bet you didn’t know that

Way back when I was a new Facebook user (circa 2008) there were these question/answer things that would occasionally come around, things with names like  “20 things you don’t know about me” or “10 things about my wedding”.

Users would post the answers  to their ”notes” section (is this even around anymore?) and tag other people to fill out the survey and pass it along.  It was a way to get to know, or re-acquaint yourself, with friends.

Luckily those don’t come around anymore, really, what else is there to know about people on Facebook? However, I decided to put my spin on it and create the

 Ten Things You Probably Don’t Know About Moi  list (it was this or bore you with my family drama). 

Fred Flintstone (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

1) My first crush was Fred Flintstone and I was actually Fred for Halloween. My mom begged me to be an angel but instead I made her buy me the Fred box costume at the Nationals near our house – yabba dabba doo

2) I was a tiny bit shy in pre-k and kindergarten and would bawl my eyes out after my mom dropped me off.  As a result, I was nearly kicked out of kindergarten but instead had my desk placed next to the teacher’s in the front of the room

3) I was co-captain of my high school volleyball team. Anyone who knows me would probably find this hysterical since I am the most non-athletic person out there.

4) I have never been sledding

5) Cereal is my favorite food and I could eat if for every meal

6) I only listen to songs I know on the radio or on a cd. If I buy a cd (which is rare) I only listen to the 2 or 3 songs I know. This was not an easy thing to do back when we had cassettes (rewind-play)

7) My favorite meal is breakfast and my least favorite is lunch. This probably is related to #5

8) I was not only in a sorority but I also lived in the sorority house and shared ONE bathroom with 7 other girls. While our house was nothing like the ones in movies like Legally Blond, I will confess to there being a lot of alcohol and fun.

9) My prom date was a blind date. His name was Fred (I just realized how funny this is considering #1) and he was 21 (don’t worry I was 18 so it was legal). He was a mailman and a very good sport. After prom we went to “the City” to this club that was supposed to simulate The Wizard of Oz and I told everyone Fred was legal which meant he bought Long Island Iced Teas for my friends all night. Needless to say, I did NOT get a kiss from Fred when the limo dropped me off (and I was REALLY hoping for one).

10) My “free pass” is George Clooney. The husband has said that if George ever shows up on my front porch, I am 100% allowed to leave with George and fly away to Lake Como to live in his villa (I would send for the boys eventually).

So there you have it. What do you think, do any of these surprise you?? I hope you had a good laugh at some and would love to hear about some of your own interesting facts. Happy Thursday!

 

Things that make me go Really?????

Question mark (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy Wednesday. I am in a bit of a mood today. We are having a slight heat wave in Central New Jersey (it’s like 75+ everyday and it’s only March) and I am running out of clothes to wear to work. It was great the first couple days but now I am over it and would appreciate the return of  March-like weather (please save all your boos till the end). I am not ready for my hair to frizz (which it has done the past couple days) and to run the ceiling fan every night.

Ok now that I have gotten that off my chest, here are some other things that make me question what the hell people are thinking. This list is in no particular order

1) Bright Yellow Non-Sports Cars:
Why? Maybe if you own a Corvette or some other sports car yellow is acceptable (if colors like silver, red and black are not available) but if you drive a Ford Focus or a Honda Fit is yellow necessary? Why do you want to draw so much attention to yourself? Are you that starved for attention? Do you like your co-workers knowing if you’re in the office because they can spot your car the second they pull into the driveway?

2) Cell Phone Use in a Public Bathroom:
I love my iPhone, I really, really do. In fact, it is seldom out of reach. However, I do draw the line at brining it in the bathroom with me. Sure if I am using a public bathroom it’s in my purse or coat pocket but I don’t make calls while doing “my business.” What call is SO important that it needs to be taken while you are sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom? I can see, maybe, if you take calls from your home bathroom at least there it’s private. A public bathroom is public! You have no idea who is in the stall next to you.  I can bet that whoever it is doesn’t want to hear the details of a deal you are trying to close. Better yet, I can almost guarantee the person on the other end of the call dont want to hear the flush of toilets before you close the deal.

3) Wearing White Pants with Black Undergarments:
I love white pants in the spring/summer. They look cool and crisp when paired with a cute shirt and flip-flops at home or with a great linen jacket for the office. However, they should ALWAYS be paired with nude undergarments. NEVER NEVER  do I need (or want) to know what color underwear you have on when you decide to wear white pants. I thought this was an unwritten rule but apparently a lot of people missed the memo. What is even more disturbing is that people forget to look in the mirror before leaving the house to see if their “monday” underwear or polka dot thong is showing. Maybe pants manufacturers should attach a warning label to white pants/shorts (instead of a security tag) that says “WARNING: only buy these pants if you intend to wear nude undergarments”

4) Adult Women who wear Logos on their Backside:
I don’t care how in shape you are, if you are a mom you should refrain from wearing the word “pink” across your butt when you shop with your teenager. I will go as far as to say if you are over the age of 22 pants with logos should only be worn in the privacy of your own home. I get that it is cute, I owned a shirt in college that said “get behind the Hens”  but I was 18 not 45.

5) People Who Use Turn Signals Incorrectly:
The point of a turn signal is to alert the car behind you that you are to turn left/right. What is the point of using it if instead you suddenly slam on the breaks, begin to turn AND THEN put the signal on????

6) The Chinese Buffet Restaurant:
I love a salad bar or even a brunch buffet. I don’t really get the need for a Chinese Buffet Restaurant though. I enjoy beef and broccoli and moo shu chicken as much as the next person but an entire buffet filled with chinese food?? How much fried rice can a person eat? Better yet are the chinese buffets that offer other types of foods like pasta or chicken fingers. If you don’t like chinese food why did you go to the buffet? If you eat pasta at a Chinese buffet, you should be ashamed of yourself.

7) Wearing Season Inappropriate Clothing:
Like I mentioned the weather has been quite warm in NJ the past week and it’s only March. WHY are people wearing shorts and flip-flops? I can understand if you are a kid or on a sports team but an adult in Shop Rite?  And why is it only the out-of-shape-adults whip out the shorts first? The older gentleman I saw in the food store on Saturday in shorts, with knee-high, white socks and sneakers, should not have been allowed to leave his home. People it is March there will be plenty of time to wear all your summer clothes I promise.

8) Selecting the Bathroom Stall Next to Another Person in an Empty Bathroom:
We have this problem at work a lot. The bathroom is empty when you get there so you pick your favorite stall (everyone has a stall they prefer). A couple of minutes later someone walks in and uses the stall right next to you. Why? There were 4 other empty spots???

I am done, no more venting (for today).  Happy Hump Day everyone, hope it’s a good one.

My love/hate relationship with the fire truck shopping cart

Why don’t you take J with you food shopping, he never spends time alone with you my mother “suggested” this past Sunday. Food shopping is usually my “alone time” (sad isn’t it) but mom did have a point. Rarely do I spend any alone time with J (my 3yo with autism) aside from fighting with him to get dressed or go to the bus stop.

Wanna go to the store with Mommy J? YES! he yelled as he ran to get his shoes. Guess that answered my question. Off we went to my favorite food store McCaffreys.

McCaffreys is the Nordstroms of food stores. It’s prices are a little higher than the average store (ie: Shop Rite, Stop & Shop) but everything just looks so much nicer. Apples are shiny and stacked in neat pyramids, vegetables are fresh and look slightly misted AND the average wait time at the deli counter is maybe 5 minutes (that alone is worth the trip).

So J and I get to McCaffreys and I find a cart to stick him in. NO NO NO! he says. Dude, we gotta get in the store, what is the problem? Truck, truck he says.

I look across the parking lot and see what he is talking about, the infamous fire truck shopping cart. O-M-G NOT the fire truck cart!!

Have you seen these carts? In theory they are adorable! It’s a regular shopping cart and attached to the front is a fire truck (or police car) with 2 seats and 2 steering wheels (with horns that beep). The truck part looks sort of like the Little Tikes Cozy Coupe car. However, these carts are dangerous.

First, the inside of the truck is a petri dish of germs. The steering wheels are dirty and god only knows what kids do when they are inside the truck. A parent can’t see inside the truck when pushing the cart (unless you to walk around to the front of the cart and bend down to look inside).

Second the cart is impossible to steer, especially when you start on your food shopping journey. The regular cart is empty (or maybe has some produce in it) and the fire truck is weighted with your kid(s) so when you attempt to steer the cart takes off in a separate direction. Wait, that is not the best part. Trying to turn from 1 aisle to another is really fun. You actually have to give yourself a running start and go wide to make the turn. This is NOT appreciated by the other shoppers, which is obvious by the sighs and dirty looks, when you sometimes bump their cart with the fire truck.

Lastly, check out is like an obstacle course. Once you manage to fit the cart in the check-out lane (no easy feat) you have to figure out a way to slide yourself past the cart to start bagging. Due to the size of the cart, it is almost easier walk around another check-out lane to start bagging (luckily McCaffreys bags for you AND they group similar items in the same bag).

J and I survived our food shopping trip with the fire truck cart. J was as happy as a clam in that damn cart. He didn’t complain or try to get out once. He happily steered the dirty wheel (of course I had no wipes) and beeped the horn and would say Moni…look wheel! Looking at his happy face made the torture of the cart all worth it(sort of).

I leave you with one last thought on the fire truck shopping cart, this HAD to be invented by a man. A mom would have test drove it first.

Mommymommymommy…..

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It started around 6:30am this morning. I was all cozy in my bed thrilled to realize it was not Monday and that L had slept the entire night in his own bed. It was like winning the lottery until I heard mooooommmeeeee….where are you? Ugh, L was up AND looking for me. Why can’t I have kids who like to sleep or at least sleep until 7am???

I got L all settled with Nick Jr. (Dora was on) when I heard more feet on the steps, the whole crew was up and heading my way. My first response was to run and hide until a decent hour (maybe 7:30?) but I was trapped. There was no way past them. I turned on the Keurig (if there was any hope of surviving coffee was a must) and hit “brew” when it started, slowly at first.  Mommy? Can I have a drink?

Ok, that was an easy one. Not a problem one orange juice coming up. The cup was not even on the counter when the ambush began

Mommy? Mommy?…I’m hungry. Mommy I want a drink. No mommy I want red juice! Where is my cup, mommy? MOOOMEEE I said I was hungry where is breakfast?! Mommy can I have a snack? Mommy I need water with ice. Mommy do we have cereal? Mommy I want syrup on my waffles. MommymommymommymommyMOOOOOMMMMMEEEEE!!!

The words were coming at me at a lighting speed. I tried to dodge them but it was useless. Finally I knew there was no choice WHAT??!!  I screamed calmly stated. To which the twins responded Mom…could you be quiet daddy is sleeping.

The barrage of mommymommymommy went on for the next 12 hours, 10 minutes and 15 seconds. Sure there were breaks when the twins were at swim class or the 2 little ones were outside. Moments when there was 1 kid and not 4 yelling MOMMY!! Overall though, there was ALWAYS 1 kid yelling or whining it the ENTIRE DAY.

The kids didnt even care how I answered them. My responses varied from calm or sarcastic to pretending I didn’t hear them or  pretending I had left (ie: Mommy? She’s not here now, please leave a message). Nothing mattered,  mommy..mommy…mommy still continued.

Even J, who for years was not able to say the word mommy, took part with his own version of mommy, moni.  J alone must have said moni?  probably 3000 times today. I know I should have just been grateful that J was finally able to communicate and say my name. After the 2000th time though, hearing moni? was the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. (I feel terrible for thinking that btw)

Finally the day is over. The kids are all sleeping (yipee!!) and I am enjoying my second a glass of wine. The house is so quiet you could almost hear a pin drop (aside from the gunfire coming from the other room as the husband watches a movie).  What a long day it was. I know, I know, stop whining and be thankful to have 4 healthy (and cute) kids who love me.  I am.  I love those kids with my all my heart. However, I cant stop thinking why the heck didnt they once call  Daddy???

Welcome to the club Newbies!

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My office had a bit of a baby boom this year - 3 new mommies since January (all boys btw). First, I would like to congratulate the new moms and welcome them to the mommyhood club. Second, I would like to take this opportunity to pass on some things that I have learned in my 5+ years of being a mom. “Newbies”, this is the insider scoop, stuff you wont read about in books. Some of you may read this and say Oh my…no, however, in time you will become a believer. (This list is in no particular order)

1) If you have gained a total of 15lbs your entire pregnancy, please do not tell a seasoned mom that you are “huge” and will “never get back to my normal” size. I gained 80lbs, 50lbs and 50lbs with each pregnancy so I think you will be fine.

2) The baby you give birth to in the hospital is NOT the same baby you take home. Hospital babies are trying to adjust to the bright and loud world outside your womb, therefore, they sleep, stay swaddled and are perfect creatures.  M (my “oldest” twin) was the ideal newborn during our 4 days in the hospital (he was a c-section). I remember begging him to wake up to eat or so that I could admire him and take pictures. Well the M that came home with me cried the entire car ride home and didn’t stop for the next 3 months.

3) Tired will take on a whole new meaning to you. Yes, you have pulled an all-nighter or partied all night at a club but that is NOTHING compared to the tired you feel one week into mommyhood. In fact, there are no words to even describe it properly, it is just something you have to experience for yourself.

4) When family/friends visit you and your newborn, don’t start proclaiming that you will have the baby on a strict schedule by 3 mo. When you tell a seasoned mom this we laugh. We may not laugh in front of you but we laugh in our heads and as soon as we leave your house we call our other mom friends and laugh like crazy! This is also true for when you tell us that you will not: allow the baby to sleep in your bed; rock the baby to sleep; pick the baby up each time he/she cries; allow a pacifier and/or thumb-sucking and get the baby to sleep in its crib by 8 weeks old.

5) Please don’t chastise a seasoned mom for giving their child non-organic food (this includes snacks and fruits/veges), juice, soda (gasp), fast food, chocolate, processed nuggets, cookies or frozen pancakes for breakfast.  Moms want to feed our kids healthy and nutritious foods but life happens and you do what you need to do.

6) Don’t “tsk-tsk” the mom in the grocery store who does not have her child in a cart cover. I am guilty of this one. The twins were my first(s) so I had all the new mommy gadgets (of 2006 they have changed since) and could not wait to break them out of their happy, little boxes. We would go to Target or BJs and out came the cart covers – no way would my child’s skin touch those filthy seats. Fast forward 4 kids and 3 years later and there I was in BJs watching L put the strap from the cart in his mouth AND I had no wipes! Life happens.

7) Television and dvds are not the enemy, they are friends! Embrace “Baby Einstein” dvds and PBS, Sprout and Nick Jr. Had it not been for Baby Einstein, I would not have taken a shower or vacuumed the house the first 6 months of the twins’ lives.

8) When seasoned moms get invited to your baby showers we LOVE to look at your registries. It is fun to see all the new gadgets and “essentials” available at Babies r Us, stuff we managed to live without 2-3 years ago. However, we also like to critique some of the items listed. Don’t get me wrong, I remember agonizing for weeks over the type of bedding the twins would have. Everything had to match/coördinate and it was imperative that I bought the matching bumpers, quilts (with their names and birth dates embroidered), sheets, valance and rug – I also bought this at Pottery Barn Kids and it cost more than my mortgage. Guess what? The twins didn’t sleep in their room for the first 6 mo (thank god for the swing and bouncer) and the quilts didn’t get used until they were 2. Sure I would “make” the cribs when company was over but seriously, infants don’t need a pillow and sham for their crib.

9) Husbands and fathers very seldom hear the baby cry at 3am and will come up with every excuse imaginable  to get out of changing a diaper.

10) If you are the mom of a girl, please don’t EVER ask/tell a mom of all boys So…you gonna try for the girl? or Ohhhhh don’t worry, boys are so much easier than girls or my personal favorite when people see I have 4 boys Ohhhhh were you trying for the girl?

Again Newbies I welcome you to the club. It is life changing and the journey of a lifetime. Please do not be offended by my suggestions, I mean them all in fun (except #1 and #10). It is important that moms support one another because no one understands being a mom more than another mom.

Rejected by “the mommies” and I lived to tell

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The weeks after the birth of a child, especially your first can be very lonely. When you first come home from the hospital there is constant stream of company. Everyone wants to help you and the baby and gifts and meals appear on your counter. As the weeks go by the company starts to dwindle, the husband and your mom go back to work and the only gifts you get are bills from the hospital.  Now it it’s just you and the baby – yikes!!

This was my life in June 2006 except I had 2 babies. I felt so alone. My work friends were busy with work and didn’t have time to listen to my funny baby stories. Friends who already had kids didn’t care if I was up all night, since they were up too, and they had their own kid(s) to deal with. The husband didn’t care whether M pooped or J had gas, he was at work. Ugh, never did my house feel so small (relatively speaking).

Then I remembered a nurse talking to me when I was being discharged from the hospital. She happened to live in my town and told me I should join her mommy group. It’s great she said, they will even make you a casserole. I was hesitant, not being much of a joiner, but desperation won out so I made the call to the mommy president.

I remember being so nervous when the answering machine picked up. Do I leave a message? What do I say? Suppose she doesn’t like me? ran through my head.

I waited days for a call back. It was worse than dating since mommies don’t have to follow the 3-day rule. Finally the mommy president called.  Her name was V and she was as nice as nice could be.  V told me how CUTE it was that I had twins. She asked if they were sleeping through the night (they were maybe 7 weeks at this point) and where I lived in town? This is great,  I thought, I’m in!

Not.  Do you work? she asked. Why yes! I went on and on about being on maternity leave and how my aunt was going to watch the twins when I went back to work in the fall. Her response (insert passive aggressive tone) Ohhhhh….our members don’t work.

Surely she was joking. It was 2006 was I the only person who had to pay for medical benefits?? Sensing my disappointment she told me I was more than welcome to take part in activities until I went back to work.  It was too late, they rejected me.  I was a new mom with 2 babies, 60lbs overweight rejected by “the mommies”.

Why don’t you join a twin mom club? my ob-gyn told me after hearing of my rejection at my post-baby appointment. Twins mom huh? That sounds easy enough. I emailed the membership coordinator when I got home and made arrangements to attend then next meeting.

Big mistake. The twins moms were like a sorority high on caffeine. They greeted me with forms to fill out and an explanation of the yearly dues (dues really?). I was also told about all the benefits of membership, the pizza dough fundraiser and mandatory snack duty. What?! I was 34 years old and looking for women to laugh and complain with. Maybe someone to enjoy a drink with (and not the kind that came in a box). Selling pizza dough was not exactly what I had in mind.

Time went on and me and the boys spent our “free” time strolling the aisles of Target or power walking at the park. Fall came and back to work I went. Working full-time and trying to raise twins left me little time to think about joining a club, unless of course, it was a sleep club.

Well that was 6 years ago and I am happy to report that I am just fine (again relatively speaking). In the years since I have made many mommy acquaintances and even a few mommy friends. Heck, I even joined a book club where we “discuss” a book for 10 minutes and then laugh and complain and drink lots of wine – it’s great!

Fairy Godmother, I have a bone to pick with you

Dear Fairy Godmother,

It occurred to me today that you and I are suffering from a lack of communication. When I told you years ago that I wanted to be Cinderella when I grew up, I was referring to the Cinderella post-Prince Charming. The one who met a Prince at a ball, fell in love,  had a fairytale wedding and then lived happily ever after in a grand castle with a little princess and prince. Not the Cinderella who works all day, cooks and cleans up after everyone and has to deal with an evil X (substitute mother-in-law, boss, neighbor etc).

I am grateful and truly appreciative of the wishes that you did grant. Meeting my “prince” on a blind date in Hoboken. Falling in love and getting married (our wedding wasnt as fairytale as Kate but I did have an awesome dress) and being blessed with 4 little “princes” (I know you had no control over the prince part but you could have least put in a request for 1 girl).

However, here is where it starts to get a little fuzzy for me.  The “castle” I had in mind was a 4-bedroom, 3.5 bath colonial with a great room and finished basement not a 2 bedroom 1.5 bath townhouse with 2 closets for 6 people. I saw myself in more of a SUV type ”coach” or at least something Italian not a Town and Country minivan (I don’t care if it has stow-and-go seats or not).  I pictured my days filled with charity work, meetings with other high-powered CEOs and weekly spa appointments and trips to designer boutiques. Not working 8-4 in a law firm with the only “spa” being my bathroom and an exfoliating scrub purchased at Target.

I would be very sophisticated or at least pulled together wearing cute outfits that were always in style. Never did I think I would own “good” hoodies and yoga pants or be caught dead in a fleece zip up. I dreamed of a trainer who could come to my “castle” 5 days a week for an intense work. When acquaintances would see me they  would say Gee you look good
 I hate you! not You look good…..for someone who had 4 kids.

The thing that upsets me most Fairy Godmother, is never did I envision my days ”off”  spent scrubbing toilets and tackling loads of never-ending laundry.  I don’t mind laundry as much (minus the folding) but toilets? Come on FG, throw me a bone or at least a cleaning woman 1x a month.

This coming May I have a very big birthday and I would really appreciate it if you could work your magic wand on some of my requests. I am not asking for all, especially with the economy being what it is,  but maybe just 1 or 2?? Please???? Thank you in advance!

Yours truly,
Cinderella

ps – Mrs. Jeter wants to be a prima ballerina

Birthday Wishes and Bon Jovi Love

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This weekend is my very best friend’s birthday.  I met J (I’ll call her Mrs. Jeter) over 12 years ago when I was working at a law firm in Northern New Jersey. I had returned from my honeymoon and Mrs. Jeter was sitting in my file room waiting for the office manager to find her an office (I am a paralegal and she is an attorney). The first time I met her she was at her desk and there was a vase of lilies in front of her, a gift from her new fiancé. Mrs. Jeter was all smiles when I introduced herself telling me about how she had just gotten engaged and was planning a wedding for the following summer.

Over the next couple weeks I found myself “filing” several times a day so I could hang out with Mrs. Jeter. We had a lot in common having grown up a couple of towns from each other. We both attended U of Delaware (go Hens!), we loved tv, going to the movies  and celebrity gossip and, most importantly, we got each other’s sarcasm.

Our first real bonding experience came when I had an extra ticket for the Bon Jovi concert. I was “filing” and telling Mrs. Jeter how my brother refused to pay the $100 for the ticket to go with me when she turned to me and said I love Bon Jovi, I’ll go! We had the best time at that concert. The seats were terrible (3 rows from the top) but we sang and danced the entire concert. A friendship was born.

Mrs. Jeter has been with me through it all  – marital woes, trouble getting pregnant, being pregnant, family dysfunction and autism – and always knows the right thing to say.  Mrs. Jeter can always help me find the humor in a situation and help me not take myself too seriously. She allows me the occasional pity party and gives free therapy sessions.

We text or email each other all day long much to the dismay of our husbands (whom we refer to as 2 & 3 since they share the same name). Only Mrs. Jeter could get a text that says 12 more hours until bedtime and get what it means and not pass judgment.

We share a love of chocolate, red wine and margaritas – we used to share a love of cake and cookies but now she is gluten-free. Mrs. Jeter also insured that I got flowers from George Clooney on my birthday and cookies from him this past Valentine’s Day. We sound like an old married couple and I guess in a way we are.

 HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY Birthday to my dear friend Mrs. Jeter!!! Thank you for being my friend. I hope you get to sleep past 6am and watch Lifetime movies while reading EW or People magazine. I also hope  3 buys you a gluten-free cake that tastes as good as a “real” cake

ps – Mrs. Jeter will completely understand why this is being posted today and not on her real birthday no explanation needed

.

The Lunch Fairy

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Dear Lunch Fairy,

Hi. I have been hesitant to write you, I just could not decide if you were real or not. Then I starting “pinning” and I realized you must be real, how else would all those holiday themed lunches I see pinned exist? Am I supposed to believe that real people actually have the time to make heart-shaped sandwiches for Valentines’ Day or a St. Paddy’s Day themed lunch for their little ones??

Let me be honest with you, lunch is not my favorite meal. I am more of a breakfast person. Give me a bowl of cereal and I am a happy girl. I can eat it for any meal and feel content. However, being an adult and mom I realize that I have to prepare meals that consist of things other than some oats covered in milk (with a occassional banana slice thrown in).

I try, I really do, to make lunch fun but you know what, it just isn’t. I now feel for my own mother who made me lunch for 12 years only to hear me complain about having ham again or that my sandwich was squished when I got to school. How did mom not kill me?

So Lunch Fairy, please accept this as a request to retain your services starting ASAP. Just a couple of things you may need to know, J (the 3yo) only eats dino chicken nuggets (the frozen kind) and occasionally pancakes (no butter or syrup) and the twins, well they subside on beige foods (not sandwiches though). M hates fruit and J refuses to drink juice. You can come up with some healthy, fun lunch ideas based on that right?

I will pay whatever your fee is and even offer you a month in advance if you would also be willing to prepare lunch for me as well. I would like one of those healthy, sensible lunches I read about in magazines, you know the ones all the celebs tell us they eat (and make for themselves). Maybe some seasoned grilled chicken breast over mixed baby greens or salmon with steamed veges. I know there is no way that I can prepare those at 5:55am as I wait for the coffee to brew and stare at my empty lunch bag.

Thank you Lunch Fairy and I hope we will be working together for a very long time.

ps – Can you get me the contact information for the Dinner Fairy please

My Valentine’s Day card dilemma

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So Tuesday is Valentine’s Day. To some that means a romantic dinner, to others it may mean flowers delivered to work (who doesn’t love the walk from reception to your desk carrying a vase full of beautiful flowers??) or maybe even a mushy Hallmark card sitting on your bedside table. To me, however, it means 3 kids with Valentine’s Day parties at school – yikes! Don’t get me wrong, I love a class party with red juice and cookies (preferably nut free) as much as the next person but it is all the prep work that I have to do with the kids that gives me a tiny knot in my stomach.

Party #1 is for my 3yo J. J has autism spectrum disorder (a blog for another day) so he attends school out-of-district (that is “special needs parent” talk) and is in a class of 6. J needs to wear something red to school and cards are optional.

Party #2 is for my twins who are 5 and in pre-k (yes…I held them back, again another blog for another day). Luckily I missed the sign up sheet for their party (oops did I say that out loud?)  but they are to bring in cards for all the kids in their class (there are 18 counting them) AND the teacher “suggested” that each child sign his/her name to each card. The teacher also “suggested” having the child write out the cards in groups of 5 so as not to overwhelm them on Monday night.

So here it is Sunday night and I have the cards in my trunk (unsigned) and I have no clue if J will have anything red to wear to his party – I think he has red pants that may, or may not, fit and he may have a shirt with red in it – that’s good enough right? Anyway, on to my card dilemma.

J’s cards will be easy enough, he will be using any leftover cards from the twins and I can sign his name and no one will care. The twins are another story. I know I should have planned ahead and bought the cards in January and then I could have had the kids sit down every night after dinner to sign them. Seriously though, that is just not my style. I am more of a last minute kind of person. I do better when the clock is ticking. Besides, what fun would it be to go to the store and browse through a variety of cards when you can go a couple days before and pick through the mess for something that isn’t pink and sparkly.

I thought about trying to get the twins to start signing their cards tonight but that didn’t happen (cut me some slack it was a bath night). The chances of me getting two 5yo’s to sign roughly 16 cards tomorrow night is pretty much slim to none. So I have come up with my own solution. I will do what any other mature, professional, mommy of 4 would do – I will sign the cards and try to make it look like I am a 5yo boy. I will admit this only to you so please don’t tell anyone, it will be our little secret

Happy Valentine’s Day!!