Random Monday Thoughts (on Wednesday)

Welcome to another edition of Random Monday Thoughts. Yes, I know today is Wednesday but Monday was my birthday and I never got around to blogging so I figured what the hell, just do it today.

Hey, it’s my blog and I can do what I want right??? (lol). And now on to my Random Thoughts….

1) Yay me!

I am happy to report that yesterday’s post Belated Birthday Thoughts brought in a 2013 record-breaking 115 views!!!!!!!!!!

I know we don’t blog for numbers. We blog because we want to and it’s a  place to share our thoughts and that stats are not important but…..come on 115 is in the three digits!!!!

I have to be honest, my 115 view would not have been possible without the help of  fellow U of D alumni Jeff Pearlman. Thank you Jeff  for allowing me to link to your birthday post here yesterday AND for tagging me on Facebook!!

2) Team Jake

“Team Jake”

As I have mentioned before, this past weekend my family and I participated in Children’s Specialized Hospital’s 7th Annual Walk & Roll event.

I am so thrilled to report that “Team Jake” raised a whopping (insert drum roll) $1030!!!!!!

Thank you to all the friends and family that supported us we really appreciate it!

3) Everyone needs a little vampire love

I am SOOOOO happy that I listened to Mrs. Jeter and stuck with The Vampire Diaries.

I am LOVING the oh-so-hot vampire brothers Damon and Stefan Salvatore who have come back to Mystic Falls (after 145 years) and really shaken things up.

At first, I didn’t think it was possible to love another vampire the way I loved Edward Cullen. However, Stefan and Damon (more Damon) have proved me wrong.

Their love and devotion to the slightly annoying Elena is nothing short of “breathtaking” (Can you name the Seinfeld reference???).

4) Black & White Day

I was very excited to wear my new white skirt to work today. It was a recent Loft purchase (on sale with an additional 60% off) and I thought it would perk me up on this cloudy, über humid day.

I paired the skirt with a black, lace trimmed cami and black, open cardigan and black peep toe wedges. Not wanting to go too overboard, I accessorized with simple silver bangles and hoops. Voila outfit accomplished.

This morning I was reading People.com working, when I got an IM from my friend Nicole asking if I wanted to go for a belated birthday lunch.

YES!!  I immediately responded. Now I would not be stuck eating my boring ham and swiss sandwich at my desk again.

Imagine my surprise when I ran into Nicole in the lady’s room a little while later saw that she too was wearing a white skirt, black, lace trimmed cami and black cardigan!

WTF???!!!!

Aside from the fact that Nicole is about 5 inches shorter than me and 30 pounds lighter, we looked like twins – in a dorky way.

We laughed and muttered something about “great minds” but ultimately decided to postpone lunch for a day when we did not look like a sorority scheme gone bad (lol).

5) Kids are annoying sometimes

PLEASE don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my children. I may not always like them but I love them with all of my being.

However, these 4 children that I carried, gained a total of 180 pounds with and gave birth to (by C-section) are really starting to drive me CRAZY!!

WHY is EVERYTHING with my kids a fight???!! Everything. I am not talking about the usual things either like home work and sibling rivalry. I am talking about stupid, mundane things. Why?? Please help me understand.

For example, to celebrate the last 26 days of school, the twins’ school has assigned each day a letter of the alphabet with an activity associated with this letter. Today’s letter is “G” and it was “green day.”

Sounds easy right? NO.

Instead I spend a half hour arguing with M that his brother’s blue shorts were not  green and that the 3 green t-shirts I held in my hand were the only green clothes that we owned.

Really??!!

What is the big deal? It’s Green Day, just put on a green shirt and be done with it. WHY do we have to argue???!!

AND M is a boy, I thought boys were easy-going and didn’t care what they wore?? Have moms been lying to me all these years???

I won’t even mention the fight over Taco Tuesday with the twins last night and how L kicked the crap out of me today because I dared to tell him it was time to change his diaper, get dressed and go to school (he told me school was closed today).

Well there you have it, some very random thoughts on a Wednesday afternoon. Thanks for reading. Enjoy the rest of your Hump Day!!

Random Monday Thoughts

Happy Monday everyone and welcome to another edition of Random Monday Thoughts (in my head this is said like the “Wheel of Fortune” opening followed by applause).

It’s sunny but a little chilly in the Garden State today and all the women in my office seem to still be on a Mother’s Day high from yesterday (gee, I wonder what they got as gifts??).

Mother’s Day at Casa Chaos was actually quite nice. I was treated to many homemade cards and gifts from all my men, fresh bagels for breakfast AND an afternoon spent with my mom at the mall with NO KIDS!! I bought myself a new Bobbi Brown lip gloss (High Shimmer Lip Gloss in Naked Plum) and ate a cupcake for desert while watching The Vampire Diaries – it was a “perfect” day.

and now onto my random thoughts:

1) Black Pants are a girl’s best friend:

Well it’s Monday and I am feeling a little fat today (probably from all the margaritas on the rocks with salt that I consumed from Friday night until Sunday) so you know what that means….it’s a black pants kinda day. Ask any woman what their one wardrobe staple is and 9 times out of ten you will hear black pants.

Really, what is there not to love? Black pants match everything, they are slimming, forgiving and can be worn multiple times before laundering (not that I would EVER do such a thing but just sayin’). This morning when I checked the weather on my iPhone and saw it would be a high of 57 degrees, I quickly pulled my black pants off the pile on my bedroom floor, shook them out, ironed them, paired them with my super cute leopard open cardi from The Loft and VOILA – a happy monday outfit was born.

2) It’s margarita weather!

Last week, I talked about flip-flop weather here and now I am proclaiming it Margarita Weather!!! I am usually a big red wine drinker, that is my drink of choice when out to dinner or at home. However, once the weather turns a little warm and the daylight lingers a little longer red wine just does not cut it in Casa Chaos.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE red wine but  it’s just not refreshing in warm weather. So what is a mom of 4 to drink in the summer months????? Jose Cuervo Margaritas – the alcohol is in the bottle!!

Yummy

Just pour over ice, add a piece of lime and some salt and it’s heaven in a glass.

3) I had forgotten how much I LOVE vampires

Some time back, I did a post on my deep, heartfelt love of Edward Cullen here. Seriously, I LOVED Edward, he was/is just THE perfect male species – aside from the fact that he’s a vampire that subsides on blood and a work of fiction.

Before I read the Twilight series, I feared vampires and thought they were all ugly with slicked back black hair and a cape. However, Twilight introduced me to the “sparkly”, hot, world of vampires and I’ve been hooked ever since.

Last week I mentioned that the husband and I had started the CW series The Vampire Diaries on dvd and after 2 episodes we were only feeling “Meh” about the show. Mrs. Jeter told me to stick with it and now, 2 disks in, we LOVE it!!

The Salvatore brothers Damon (bad boy) and Stefan (very good boy) are just dreamy and make for THE best vampire eye candy on tv. Throw in Alaric the handsome vampire hunter and this girl is in!! I can’t wait to start the next dvd.

Oh and btw, me and the husband find the character Elena (the super skinny, gorgeous with great hair love interest) to be rather annoying. In fact, I think she is equal parts Katniss and Bella Swan in her back and forth feelings for Stefan thus far.

4) Channeling my inner-Mrs. Brady

My son M has recently become obsessed with death. I know this is a phase all kids go though, and watching his father fight zombies on his PSP surely does not help the obsession.

Still, I taken aback the other night as I was tucking M into bed and he started crying. Startled, I asked what was wrong and through the tears he told me his brain could not stop thinking about dying and being buried.

Super!! I thought to myself.

With a little coaxing I was able to convince M to come into my bed with me to talk about what was bothering him. As we walked into my bedroom I was freaking out!

 What the hell am I going to tell him about death? I can’t tell him it’s just for old people. What if I drop dead tomorrow, he will forever think I lied to him. He will be scarred for life and wind up in a miserable marriage to some shrew all because his mom couldn’t tell him about death when he was 6.

Immediately, I began thinking about every sitcom I had ever watched and what all those super sitcom moms used to tell their “kids” about death. My mind was a blur of tv moms ranging from June Cleaver, Carole Brady and Claire Huxtable.

Finally, I took a deep breath and calmly tried to quell M’s fears. I told him that he had nothing to worry about, that when people die they go to Heaven to be with the angels and Pop Pop and Bella. I told him it’s a happy place where they have all your favorite foods and that there was nothing to be afraid of.

M seemed ok with that explanation but started crying again telling me that he would miss me when I died. Crap, now what???! I thought??

I don’t know if it was all those years of watching tv or what,  but suddenly a thought hit me.  I told M that Mommy would always be with him forever and ever in his heart and that he had nothing to worry about.

Then I hugged him tight and let him sleep in my bed as we talked about all the happy places we have gone his “whole life” and all the places he still wants to see.

I don’t know if those were the right answers for M but I guess they will have to do for now.

Have a good week everyone, thanks for reading

Tuesday

Today is Tuesday, May 7, 2013. This morning I was woken up by the heinous sound of the ironing board being opened by the husband (yes he irons his own clothes), I immediately reached for my iPhone.

I have a sickness or rather an obsession with my phone. It needs to be near me at all times and if it isn’t, or god forbid the battery is dead, I start to go through withdrawal.

I quickly scanned my messages, mail and FB before heading over to the weather app. There was a picture of a sun and the number 70 next to it.
Yay!!! It’s Skirt Weather I thought to myself as I hurriedly got into the shower.

I painstakingly put in the extra time to shave my legs as I mentally picked out THE perfect skirt/sweater combo.

I continued getting ready, making breakfast, fighting with L over why he needs to get dressed AND go to school AND put shoes on AND (my personal favorite) why he CAN NOT HAVE A BOWL OF JUST THE MARSHMELLOWS FROM THE LUCKY CHARMS BOX.

After I waved bye to L (and smiled to myself as I quickly slammed closed the front door) I ran upstairs to finish getting ready.

I turned on the radio and was humming along to Taylor Swift and making the bed when I glanced at the clock that read “7:34″.

Crap, I have to start making the kids get dressed I thought to myself. I went over to the top of the stairs, took a deep breath and braced myself for what was coming.

Me: Boys???!!

Boys: What??

Me: Come upstairs…it’s time to get dressed for school.

Boys: Huh? What did you say?

Me: I said COME UPSTAIRS AND GET DRESSED NOW

Boys: OOHHHH Why??

Me: Because you have to get dressed and we have this discussion EVERYDAY. Now come upstairs.

Next came the distinct  bang of a Lego creation being thrown on the floor followed by the stomping of feet coming up the stairs.

Today I was also given the added bonus of M, jumping on my bed (yes, the one I just made) and asking me to have a conversation with Bear.

In the meantime, J had come upstairs to show me the “Ship” he had just built. WOW, you made that?! That is AWESOME J I said ushering him into his bedroom. Hey, let’s get dressed why you are up here, come on.

NO I don’t wanna get dressed! he said and stomped back  down the stairs into the living room.

Ok, I’ll deal with that after I dry my hair, I thought and went to check the twins’ pregress.

Instead of seeing 2 boys all dressed, I was met with J on the bed in his pj top and underwear and M on the floor, with Bear, looking at Star Wars cards.

Ummm…what are you doing? I told you to get dressed I said with just a little bit of tone.

Mommy? Mommy look, said J. I can hold the toy chainsaw with one hand!

I almost pinched myself to see if I was dreaming. How can this be my life

After yelling at the twins to get dressed, I went back downstairs to check on the other J. The living room was eerily quiet and at first glance, I did not see J.

Hmmm, that’s weird. He isn’t upstairs, where can he be??

I was just about to head back upstairs when I saw it – the large lump on the couch covered in a blanket.

I smiled, and started calling out J’s name pretending I couldn’t find him. Each time I did this, the blanket shook from his laughter.

Finally I pulled the blanket off and yelled THERE HE IS!! and he rolled over laughing.

I quickly dressed him and ran upstairs to iron when I heard the weather forecast on the radio. It went something like this ….cloudy and little sun today, slight chance of showers.

What??!! I thought it was going to be sunny. I am not going to wear a skirt if it’s cold and raining. Now what the hell am I going to wear????!!

I pulled out my black pants and a black cardigan and quickly tried to find a cami to wear underneath. I was not happy, this is so NOT what I had planned. The iron was sticking to the sweater (a new Loft buy btw) and none of the 5 camis I had put on looked right.

Damn it!

Some how we all made it out the door and to our respective buses and work on time.

I am sure my morning is not much different from any other mom. Maybe there are slight differences, but basically the rushing, arguing and struggle for power is the same in any house right?

Oh no, please tell me it isn’t just me (lol)!

It’s now mid-afternoon and I just leaned back in my chair saw a streak of blue out the window across the hall from me. Guess I could have worn that skirt after all.

Hope you are enjoying your Tuesday, just think, we are one stop closer to the weekend!!

 

Random thoughts on a Monday morning

Happy Monday everyone, don’t you just LOVE a Monday morning?? LOL!!

It is raining here in the beautiful Garden State, it is actually supposed to rain the next couple days,  so that makes this Monday all the more merry. The weather should not surprise me since I spent 2 hours yesterday doing the semi-annual (and dreaded) “clothes switch”.

Last night I was texting with my mom when she, passively aggressively, mentioned that I have not been blogging regularly. My first thought was Ummmm…no kidding but somehow I didn’t think she would appreciate that response. I toyed with ignoring her comment but what fun would that be. No, instead I came up with this witty lame response I’m in a slump with the blog. I don’t know why. Eloquent right?

Mom, being Mom, wouldn’t drop it and came back with …just write like you used to no? no funny stories?…

Ugh, that totally annoyed me. What, did Mom think funny stories just “POP” into my head randomly? Is my life SO humorous that blogs detailing the adventures at Casa Chaos are in abundance???

Moms words stuck in my head long after the texting conversation ended. Of course she was right, I have made excuses for months about my lack of daily posts. Truth is I started over-analyzing my blog ideas.

I became WAY too obsessed with stats and “likes” and comparing myself to other bloggers in WordPress and Tumblr (yes, I strayed from WordPress but shhhh don’t tell). I forgot that we are all just one, big blogging family, and instead turned it into a competition that I knew I would NEVER win.

Anyway, I guess the pity party has gone on way too long and now it’s time to kick out the last guest (me), clean up the mess and move on.

Driving into work today, my mind was a blur. I was belting out Pink songs (LOVING the new duet with the guy from Fun), trying to sort out all the random blog ideas in my head.

While sitting in traffic on George-Davison Road (damn school buses), a thought occurred to me. Hey, instead of picking just one “thing” to blog about today, why not just post about a couple random things????

So friends in the great blogosphere, I bring you “Random Thoughts on a Monday Morning”

1) Shopping with almost 7yo boys is an experience.
This should not have surprised me but yet I had high hopes for taking the twins shopping. It’s not their fault, their attention span is just nill. One minute they are looking a t-shirts and the next they are hiding under rounders.

I would pick out cute shirts and plaid shorts just to be told  No thanks or Mooommmmy that is for girls.

Somehow I was able to get them to focus just long enough to get what we needed. Apparently, M is an impulse shopper because as we were headed to the check-out he talked me into this

Mr. Cool

2) I embarrass very easily:
On May 18, 2013 my family and I are participating in Children’s Specialized Hospital’s 7th Annual Walk & Roll to raise money for the hospital. We have been a part of the CSH family for the past 2 years and they have helped to make our journey with J a little easier.

So the point of a fundraiser is to obviously raise funds. Sounds easy enough right? Well it should be except I get totally embarrassed asking for sponsors. My face turns red just thinking about it.

I thought a good way to raise funds, and awareness, was to advertise the event at work. The marketing guy at my office was kind enough to make up some amazing posters that I hung in the kitchens and coffee stations.

However, as I was taping up the posters it hit me Holy Crap my face is blown up on the poster!!! OMG now co-workers would be forced to see my HUGE face as they get their morning coffee. Yikes.

I hid in my cube, mortified of my face, and prayed no one would vandalize my posters – my friend N reminded me we work in a law firm not in a junior high school.

Well the posters have been up for 5 days and so far they are intact. I even had 2 people ask me how they can give. I am hoping by the end of the week I won’t even notice my huge head when I get coffee or water.

Here is the link for our page if you are interested in making a contribution (it’s tax-deductible!!)

3) Nothing beats a good book:
I love reading. I don’t really have a particular genre that I am fond of, really,  I like a good story. One that holds my attention and makes me temporarily forget my problems. A story that when it is over, makes me sad and wish it wasn’t done.

Last week I finished reading Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter and I LOVED it!! It was the story of an almost-love affair that begins on the Italian coast in 1962 …and is rekindled in Hollywood fifty years later.  Mr. Walter transported me to Italy and its beautiful coast and made me sad that I have not been able to experience the sights and sounds of Italy for myself.

I did not want this book to end and was sad when I had to say good-bye to Dee and Pasquale. I highly recommend it to anyone who is a sucker for a love affair.

4) Mrs. Jeter thinks I could write a novel (LOL):
Jeter and I were texting last night when she asked me if I would be interested in participating in National Novel Writing Month with her in November. At first, I thought she was kidding. Write a novel?! I am not a writer, I am a semi-novice blogger, what was Jeter thinking??

But Jeter was serious, said we could be each other’s moral support and that I would be good at it. Honestly, the thought of this both intrigues and terrifies me. Jeter and my blogging mentor CC are always telling me that yes, in fact I am a “writer” but I don’t know.

I thought I would run this idea past you guys and see what kind of feed back I get. Do you think I could write a short novel? If so, about what???

Thanks for letting me share these random thoughts with you today. Enjoy your Monday.

Life goes on

Hi everyone. Sorry I went MIA again – maybe that should be my new blog name (lol). After the horrific events in Boston, it felt almost disrespectful to blog about the everyday nonsense and drama in my life.

I remember being really young and my neighbor telling me to ask my mom where she was when Kennedy was shot.

I had no idea what my little friend was talking about, who the heck was “Kennedy” and why were they shot??

I did eventually ask my mom, although I can’t remember what her answer was. I asked her how she was able to remember something that happened so long ago and she said it was a life changing event, something you always remember.

Oh, ok I thought to myself before I went back to play. “Life changing” at the age of 5 is losing your favorite toy little did I know.

In the years since I have experienced a lot of life changing events and I can remember where I was for all of them.

The space shuttle Challenger explosion,  Oklahoma City bombings, Columbine, the first World Trade Center bombing, 9/11, Newtown and now Boston.

It’s sad that we as a nation and world have experienced so many horrific events in a lifetime. Sadly, we will more than likely add more to our memories over time.

Personally, I can’t let myself dwell too much on all the media coverage. Yes, I follow current events and like to know what is going on in the world, but if I devote all my waking hours to the 24/7 coverage, quite frankly, I would never leave my house or let my kids out of my sight.

I caught myself the other day, reading several articles on the young, 8yo victim in Boston. My heart broke for his family. His mom and sister both suffered serious injuries and his family is left trying to make sense of it all while trying to get through the next hours and days.

I felt myself getting into a mood and had to force myself to put the Iphone down and do something else. I don’t remember if it was refereeing an argument with the twins or helping my 3yo put on his cape.

Whatever it was, it made me realize that my kids have no idea of the troubled world we live in. Yes, they know there are “bad” people out there that do “bad” things but that’s it.

To them, not getting a toy on a Target run, their beloved Lego creation being smashed by a sibling or their pet Bella going to live with the angels in Heaven is as bad as it gets.

I envy them. They are innocent, happy and good at heart. They need to enjoy life and experience all it has to offer.

For them and for us, life goes on even after tragedy. I keep reading on all the media and social media sites how America and Americans will persevere because we are good and good always trumps evil.

It’s true. Look at all we have gone through and we always come out stronger as a nation and community.

Today my 3yo’s daycare was holding a prom for the students. Parents were encouraged to dress their little ones in their “Sunday Best” and the kids would be treated to music, snacks and LOTS of dancing.

L looked pretty darn handsome when he left for Prom today. His smile was huge and he was so proud when I told him how cute he looked.

Life goes on.

My Little Prom King

It’s the little things

Hello friends out there in the great and almighty blogosphere!! I am back from another blogging absence that was far too long.

I don’t know what happened. One day I was home with my herniated disk (and 3 pinched nerves) blogging about Snow Chairs and the next thing I know over a month has passed and I have written no blogs – gasp!!

Friends and family dropped hints and even offered up some blog topics but nothing worked.  It wasn’t really a writer’s block, more like lack of motivation.

I was home over 8 weeks on short-term disability and while my back was healing and I was feeling better, I just felt blah.

Maybe it was the tail end of winter or the kids being sick or just life in general. Who knows. Whatever it was it caused me to almost fear the blog. I would think of a topic or idea and completely over think it.

Thoughts like Is this funny? Would anyone like it? Maybe this topic is too boring or Suppose people laugh???? were consuming me.

Once I started comparing myself to other blogs and bloggers I knew it was time for me to take a mini vacation.

I reminded myself that I started this blog for myself, not to get followers and fame (not that I would mine either LOL). I decided I would not blog again until I felt ready.

Which brings me to today Monday, April 8, 2013. Today is my first day back at work since February 5th and I was more than a little nervous to come back.

I felt like I was starting at a new school, not coming back to the place I have worked since November 2000.

I tried not to be a total Debbie Downer this morning, even when the twins yelled at me that they were too tired to get dressed.

All morning my stomach was filled with butterflies that would not go away. I changed my outfit three times before finally giving up since the kids would be late for the bus.

In the van waiting for J’s bus, I started to think about some blog topics, hoping the “right one” would magically pop into my head.

J was not a happy camper today. J is my 4yo (almost 5) with autism spectrum disorder and he is very “routine driven.” For the last 2 weeks, J’s entire routine has been out of whack and today was his first day back at school.

J sat in the van writing out words on the back of a car seat instruction manual, quietly whining that he didn’t want to go to school or see his beloved teacher Miss Heidi.

I tried telling J that I understood and that Mommy didn’t want to go to work either (what? he was the only one there to listen to me complain) but J wasn’t buying any of it.

When the bus pulled up he took a deep breath and ran toward it (he wanted to beat his friend C to the door). I yelled Hey wait…give Mommy a kiss! but he didn’t hear me or didn’t care.

I watched as he buckled himself into the bus seat and chatted with my neighbor. Suddenly the bus doors opened and the driver called my name.

Startled I asked what was wrong Nothing…J wants to give you a kiss she said.

And with that my little boy appeared, tears in his eyes, and gave me a kiss before getting back in his seat and buckling himself in.

J and I got to spend a lot of “alone time” together the past couple weeks - a rarity since he shares me with 3 other brothers. Sometimes he gets lost in the craziness of our house and the demands of life.

When I got to work I was not in a good mood. Sure, I put on my “game face” as I greeted people who pretended they were SO happy to see me back in the office.

All morning I could not shake the image of J’s face when he left. Just thinking about it now makes me a little sad. I looked through the pics on my phone of some of the stuff J and I did the past couple weeks and decided (with the nudging help of Mrs. Jeter) to do a blog.

I don’t know if this is my best blog, or if it is interesting or thought-provoking. However, I do know that every once in a awhile I need to step back and appreciate what I have and smile at the little things.

Happy Monday – hope everyone has a good week.

Angry Birds bike helmet

Liberty Science Center

Strike a pose

Happy Monday

Hey there it’s Monday and it’s actually sunny here in the beautiful Garden State.

I had to look at the calendar twice to make sure it is really the last week in February – where did that month go???

My weekend was good, not too busy which is always a plus. The husband was off Friday, Saturday and Sunday (a rarity) and we were able to squeeze in breakfast at the diner sans kids one day. The twins had basketball on Saturday (God when is this season over?) and J has a bday party that afternoon. The party was a little traumatic for us since M, who is in a different K class, was not invited to this particular bday party.

After some tears, a tantrum, more tears and a hug, I was able to satisfy M with an alone trip to Barnes and Noble just him and me. We browsed the kid’s section for just the right book and even bought J a book about Ninjago. Our “date” ended with a sugar cookie at Starbucks before heading out to pick up the little kids at Wawa’s house.

Later that night as I tucked M into bed, he gave me a hug and thanked me for taking him to the book store. I hugged him tight and thought to myself how lucky I am to have my little Bugman and that maybe I don’t suck at this whole motherhood thing as much as I think I do.

Before I left his room I asked M if he had a good day, assuming he would say YES Mommy, the BEST ever!

Instead M took a minute to think and then replied ummmm…I guess so but I KNOW J had more fun than I did good night.

And there you have it. Have a good week.

I quit

Yes friends out there in the great blogosphere, I am quitting. What you may ask? Have you finally found a new career, one that will take me away from the tidias daily grind of being a paralegal extraordinaire??

Sadly no – though I am open to suggestions (keep it clean though, this is a family friendly blog lol).

I think it’s time that I quit my other full-time job. The job that has me working 24/7, no overtime or holiday pay and did I mention NO SALARY!

Give up?

Why it’s mommyhood of course.

Wait, before you go getting all über judgmental about how great being a mom is and how it is THE most important job in the universe, please let me defend myself.

First, I love my kids all four boys ages 6, 6, 4 and 3. I would do anything for them and would probably stand in front of a moving vehicle for them (unless maybe it was a huge tractor-trailer – JUST KIDDING).

My boys are my pride and joy and it amazes me each day that they are all mine and that I didn’t break them in infanthood.

I was able to withstand, colicky babies, reflux as the doctors like to call it, 2 bouts of pyloric stenosis (which require surgery and a hospital stay), jaundice, anemia, RSV and 4 ear infections at the SAME time and let’s not forget J with his Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).

Through it all I have tried to maintain a positive outlook (well as positive as I could be) and was always able to find humor (no matter how small) in any given situation.

Each time we survive one crisis I think to myself ok, we got through this, I did it! We can do it again…God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle right??

After this morning though, I feel like I am done. I have done all there is to do and now it is up the husband, or the boys or my mom (JK), to take over.

There wasn’t one little thing that set me off really, rather, a compilation of all the things I met this weekend that has sent me seeking new employment.

Blame it on the weather, PMS or my back being out (yes, I have hurt my back AGAIN) but the kids really did me in this past weekend.

I don’t think it was one thing in particular, it was pretty much the same old Saturday and Sunday.

The little kids fought all weekend, L made J cry more times than I could count. The twins complained when they had to get dressed and leave for baseball practice and pictures.

The house looked like a disaster each time I cleaned it up and no matter who I asked to help me straighten the living room, the response was always the same but I didn’t do it…whhhyyyyy do I always have to heeelllpp??!

M told me he wanted to change his name – this happens a lot and I have actually gotten used to it. So far he has been Geo, Michael and now Roger. To think, I spent months agonizing over what to name this kid and he is happy with the name Geo.

Let’s see what else? Oh, 3 kids have colds which is always fun. J (ASD boy) has taken to waking up at 5am on weekends and weekdays. Twin J thinks he is sick but refuses to speak so it’s like playing 20 questions to guess what his ailment is.

M decided he hated his entire family, especially me, because there were no bagels for his breakfast on Sunday and he was bored all day AND he was sick of sharing the Wii Star Wars Lego game!

L thought it was great to play hide and seek in my just made bed and to play with the switch on my heating pad.

After I had taken a muscle relaxer the 2 little kids thought it would be good to sit on my bed and kill each other over the iPad and Mommy’s phone that was charging and M declared that he was NOT going to bed because he was going to play Star Wars. After I threatened to take away his toy laser gun if he wouldn’t go to bed he looked at me and said (completely serious) Here, just take it I am going to play downstairs.

This morning I thought we would start fresh, but the weekend behind me. The back was still hurting but at least I could stand straight and it was a new week.

I was almost done making lunches when M came downstairs. This is what followed.

M -  Mom, what are you doing with that bagel? 

Me –  Oh, I am making it for your lunch today.

M – Umm no thanks. I don’t like it.

Me – Yes, you so, since when? If you don’t take this for lunch what do you want?

M – I don’t know, maybe Goldfish?

Me – Goldfish is not lunch M, pick something? Do you want cereal, a sandwich, the bagel what? what do you want?

M – Nothing , I only want Goldfish why do you always tell me no, I wannnnnnt Goldfish. That’s not fair.

Me – Fine, don’t eat then, I don’t care (as I threw the buttered bagel into his lunch bag and zipped up his back pack.

After this exchange I got to fight with L over getting dressed and going to school (L thought he would stay in “his house” today). I also argued with J that cookies were not a breakfast item and that he had to clean up the crayons that covered my kitchen floor.

The last straw came when I very nicely, told the twins it was super cold out and perhaps it would be better if they wore sweatshirts to school and not the shirts they had picked out last night.

M was NOT happy. He told me (again) how is wasn’t fair and he was NOT wearing a sweatshirt!

I lost it. Instead of taking the high road and walking away, I heard myself say something like

Fine, wear the dirty Angry Birds Star Wars t-shirt and freeze, I don’t care. While you are at it, why don’t you get a new Mommy since I do nothing right for you. You know what, you seem to know so much, why don’t you just go out and get your own apartment while you are at it!

As if that response wasn’t good enough, I ended it with a dramatic slam of my bedroom door (yes, I know I am 40 and the adult but whatever).

After I was dressed and ready to warm up the van, I spotted M sitting all by himself in his room. He was looking out the window wearing the gray sweatshirt I had picked out.

I felt like crap! M looked so innocent sitting there, playing with the nightlight – we have told him a million times NOT to play with.

I went over and hugged him and told him I loved him. We decided he could keep me for a mom since we would both miss each other if he got a new one.

Together we walked downstairs and proceeded to put on coats, hats, gloves and mittens. Everyone was dressed, teeth brushed and ready to go.

You know what, maybe this mom stuff isn’t so bad I thought, as I pulled on my pink gloves and reached for my keys.

Let’s go, everyone to the car I said and at that moment, M spilled his entire cup of orange juice all over the floor.

Oh My F’n God, I must be on candid camera! I yelled to no one (the kids were in the car) as I cleaned up the orange juice. How can this be my life?? I said as I slammed the front door shut and drove to the bus stop.

The spilled oj was it. I am done, I quit.

Don’t worry, I will resume my mom duties today again at 5pm when I get the twins from after care and go home and start dinner. It is not a glamorous life but it’s my life – the good, the bad and the ugly.

Lol, who knows, maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Life and sports

I am not a sports person in any way, shape for form. Anyone who has been in my company for more than 10 minutes and watched my eyes glaze over during a Monday morning football recap can attest to this.

I am not completely clueless, I know it’s playoff time and I know what time of year specific sports are played. However, I would rather shop or read People magazine than watch a sporting event.

Imagine my surprise when I was blessed with not 1 but 4 boys! I remember crying (I was postpartum) to my mom and saying but I don’t know anything about sports when I was in the hospital.

Repeatedly I was told ”It will be fine”  by friends, acquaintances and strangers in the park when I would explain my fear of having boys and them playing sports (among other things). It happened so often,  after a while I started to believe them.

The husband and I were a little behind in the PAL league sign-ups. It seemed that I was always either pregnant or caring for a newborn since 2006.

We lived in a bubble that revolved around Good Start formula and Luvs diapers (WAY cheaper than Pampers) and I didn’t really know any other moms besides Jeter and my SIL -  as I was rejected by the MOMS club (see “Rejected by ‘the mommies’ and I lived to tell about it”
http://wp.me/p2apJp-5T
).

However, in 2006 the twins started pre-k and, FINALLY, I was able to meet some other moms and be thrust into the world of extracurricular activities and PAL sports.

Holy crap were we behind!!

Who knew kids starting playing soccer and crap at the age of 3. Geez, I could barely get the twins to pee standing up and these moms had their kids playing sports!

Feeling like a total loser mom, I decided to sign the twins up for spring soccer. I went to the PAL office, filled out my forms and was cheerfully told the cost was $174 with the sibling discount.

Stunned, I prayed the kids would turn out to be the next Beckham as I pulled out of the driveway.

The season started and the twins excitedly left the house dressed in their soccer gear. They looked adorable and I cried thinking about how my babies were growing up.

My happiness was very short-lived, however, as the kids came home from their first game in tears and said they were NEVER going back again.

The husband and I tried a few more times but it was useless. The twins refused to play so I pulled them from the season (and got a refund).

We put the PAL drama behind us and focused on swim lessons and life.

Swim lessons didn’t go much better and I was beginning to think that maybe God had blessed me with 2 “sport’s challenged” sons.

OMG what are we going to do?????!!! I cried to the husband, my mother, Jeter and anyone who would listen. It is important for boys to play sports and the twins HATE it. THey are going to get beat up and bullied when they are in high school!!

Ok, maybe I was being a bit dramatic, but seriously, society puts a lot of pressure on kids, boys especially, to excel in sports. Yes, it is ridiculous and totally stereotypical, but I alone was not going to be able to change the societal norm.

Fast forward to this past fall. Friends  (one of whom is my blogging mentor CC) encouraged me to sign the twins up for soccer. CC’s hubby was coaching soccer and she kept telling me that the boys would have a great time as their team was all about having fun.

The soccer season started off rough but the twins tried hard and with the help of their awesome coaches they made some vast improvements by season’s end. The Blue Flames may have only won a single game but they always left the field with a smile and a snack.

With soccer behind us, it was only logical to sign them up for basketball in the winter and baseball in the spring. The twins were 6 now and ready to play sports – and like it damn it!

Around the holidays I got an email from CC that her hubby Coach P and Coach B (from soccer) would be coaching baseball this year and that I should try to get the twins on their team.

Yay!! I thought. The twins loved the coaches, they would get to play with their friends AND I could hang out with all my soccer mom friends for the season (wasn’t that the most important thing?). It was win-win for everyone.

The boys were thrilled to be playing with their friends and to see Coach P and B again. They could hardly wait to get to their first clinic and start playing baseball.

I was a nervoud wreck when they left for clinic. They had never played baseball and I had no idea how they would do or if they would like it. All I could do was hope for the best and wait.

When they got home from clinic, I was greeted with smiles and chants of Baseball WAS SO fun Mommy…Coach B showed me how to throw the ball AND Coach P grew a beard on his face!!!!

I don’t have a crystal ball, so it’s hard to know how my boys (all 4 of them) will do in sports. They may love them, hate them or tolerate them but no matter what, it has to be their choice.

I have to remember that it is their lives, not mine, and my job is to support and encourage them in whatever they choose to do. I will always worry about them (that is my job) but I can’t let my worry get in the way of them living life.

Life brings with it success and failure and lessons to be learned from both. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, my kids see more success than failure but no matter what, they will know I love them.

Mommy will give you candy??

BK (before kids) I had dreams of what my family would look like. Me and the husband would have 2 kids (boy/girl). The boy would be blond with blue eyes and the girl would have dark, curly hair. They would be THE most adorable children on the planet and ALWAYS be impeccably dressed.

I swore to NEVER allow my child to dress in mismatched outfits, have a dirty face or hands or wear ratty t-shirts with pictures on them. As if!!

I remember glaring at other moms in the mall and shaking my head in disgust at the way they let their children dress in public. To paraphrase Taylor Swift that would never, ever, ever, ever be me!

When the twins were born (my firsts) I would carefully pick out matching outfits for them daily. They never repeated an outfit (even if we were sitting in the house) and if, God forbid, they spilled ANYTHING on themselves, that item was quickly removed, stain-treated and replaced with an equally cute one.

I would spend money like it grew on trees in Baby Gap, Gymboree, Lord & Taylor etc. scrounging the racks for that “perfect” onsie. I took the twins for professional pictures every 3 months (duh, that is what a good mom does) and would plan their outfits for weeks right down to the socks.

J came along 2 years later and I still tried to continue with my obsessive behavior. I remember leaving for the hospital (J was a c-section) and picking out a week’s worth of outfits for the twins to wear while I was gone. After all, I wanted them to look their best when they came to visit my in the hospital.

Once J came home and I was dealing with 3 boys I became a little lax. The twins were starting to become interested in things like Toy Story, Cars and trucks and wanted to wear shirts with those pictures. I grimaced but decided to pick my battles. I was running on no sleep so what did it matter if M wore a shirt with Buzz Lightyear to Target??

By the time L came along (18 months later) I could care less what the kids wore as long as they were dressed. It became easier to let the twins pick out their own clothes rather than fight with them and their wardrobes started consisting of shirts with either Monster Trucks, superheros or race cars.

Gone were the jeans and matching buttown downs. Now I am lucky if they even match a shirt to their track pants and try arguing with a 6yo that his “favorite” Star Wars Lego shirt is too small to wear out in public.

Anyway, today is picture day at my youngest’s pre-k. L hasn’t had professional photos done since he was 3 months old so this is a big deal for me.

After getting the picture form, I ran to the mall to find him the “perfect” picture outfit (on sale of course). I patted myself on the back, as I admired the outfit on the hanger. Damn, he will look SO cute, I thought to myself.

This morning I carefully ironed the shirt and pirate pants (khakis with pirate skulls on them) and button down (I only iron kids’ clothes for photo ops and holidays) and called screamed for him to come upstairs to get dressed.

No Mommy, I watching tv…you come here and dress me was the response I received. I yelled 2 more times before conceding (a mom has got to pick her battles when she is running late for work) and bringing the outfit to the living room.

Look L, look at the handsome pirate pants and shirt Mommy got you I said a little too excitedly. Those my pirate pants? Argh Matey L replied.

I quickly put the pants and button down on him and told me he looked VERY handsome. One more thing and then you can go play, I said as I attempted to pull the coordinating, v-neck sweater over his head. Which resulted in the following exchange.

NO!! I NO WANT DIS SHIRT…I WEAR DIS SHIRT! L yelled pulling at his button-down. 

L, honey, come on, you HAVE to wear the sweater Mommy got you. You will look so handsome.

NO I NOT WEARING IT – umph!

L please, it’s getting late and Mommy has to go to work I pleaded trying to pry his right arm through the sweater hole.

NO!

I became desperate,  I should have been halfway to work and instead I was on the living room floor pleading with an almost 3yo.

L if you wear the sweater….Mommy will give you a cookie.

NO, I no want cookie.

Crap, cookies always work, now what. I could hear the voices of  Hot Mrs. Jeter (she has asked to be referred to as “hot” from now on) and my Mom and the husband telling me to “let it go”. “The button-down looks fine, who cares?”  ”Don’t drive yourself nuts over a sweater.”

They are right, I thought as I looked at L half-dressed running away from me. In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter if he is wearing a pull over and a shirt??

Hell yes it matters! and I used the last card in my deck…L do you want candy? If you wear the sweater Mommy will give you candy???

Candy? He said in his sweetest voice. Yes, candy. Just put on the sweater.

Ok Mommy.

And that my friends is how I got L dressed for his school pictures.

No, I am not 100% proud of my behavior. I did, after all, allow myself to be manipulated by a toddler. However, the bribe actually worked and helped me get my way.

I am sure in 20 years I will look back (or rather he will) and ask what the hell I was thinking dressing him like that. Heck, I don’t even know if L will smile for the photographer today (although he better since it’s $45) but at least I know he looked cute when he left the house.