trying to find myself and humor in life


Today is my last day of work until after Labor Day. Technically I will be “on vacation” next week but to me it doesn’t really seem like a real vacation.

Vacation is when you go someplace, stay in a hotel and eat your meals out. You pack a bag with your favorite clothes and head off for a week of fun (preferable with some sun and adult beverages). On vacation you are worry free and relaxed, enjoying every minute of your much-needed break from life.

My vacation next week will be a little different. I will be home, mostly alone, with all 4 kids since their respective camps/schools are over. We have to get haircuts and new sneakers for school. The twins have a dentist appointment and if the husband can get a couple of days off work we may get to go see the trains in Strasburg and squeeze in a visit to Storybook Land.

Sure we will eat a few meals out and there will be adult beverages but there will be no rest and relaxation for me. I know, I know, it is not about me, it is about the kids but you know what (to quote my son M), that’s not fair!

Everything I do is for the kids, the husband, my family and sometimes even the dog. Working, cooking, cleaning, laundry, coordinating, planning, refereeing, doctoring etc. really leaves me zero time for myself. I can’t even manage to hide in the bathroom without the door being kicked open (literally) and a little boy asking me what you doin’ mom? Lately I can’t even make a doctor appointment from my desk at work without hearing that I am doing much personal stuff.

I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer but this has been one hell of a summer. We have dealt with cancer, sickness, hospitals, jobs, kids, school and money. At this point I am just exhausted – mentally and physically. September will be here soon and the twins start K and J is starting a new ASD program at his school – the fun never ends.

Ok..ok, I will take a second to focus on all the positives in my life. The kids are healthy and they had a great summer. The twins absolutely LOVED camp and L did better than anyone imagined at his school. J’s speech increased dramatically and he is socializing more.

We got to go to the beach a few times (I even got tan for the first time in years) and took advantage of the pool in our complex. M lost his first tooth and J is getting his very own “big boy bed” soon. Our kitchen is finally complete and we are rid of Nick the Contractor.

I guess overall it was a bittersweet summer filled with good and bad. I made some mistakes but I absolutely learned from each one (now if I actually follow what I learned is a different blog for another day).

So maybe my “vacation” won’t be filled with umbrella drinks and naps on a beach but I won’t have to get up at 5:30a and come into work and hear about how I need to be remarkable either. Plus I will get to spend a little quality time with “my men” before they go back to school and start growing up.

I am sure there will be MANY blog worthy things that happen next week. Fingers crossed that I will actually be able to sit at the computer and document each and every one – with a glass of wine in hand.

T-minus 7 hours and counting until VACATION!



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