trying to find myself and humor in life


I was all set to tell you all about my kettlebell experience last night, how I survived, didn’t cry and had trouble walking up and down the stairs today. Then I decided to save that for another day. It is pouring here today, humid (bad hair day) and just a blah day.

The twins are off from school but luckily the 2 little ones have pre-k. It would have been a perfect “stay-in-bed-under-the-covers day” but there are bills to pay, EOBs to fight and blogs to be written so here I am in my cozy jail cell cubicle (thank god it has high walls to block me from plain sight.

All my kids have a way to soothe themselves. L has a pacifier (don’t judge), J watches a dvd and M has Bear. Bear has been around since the twins were 8 or 9 months old and was an Easter present from Wawa (a/k/a grandma). Bear is a take on a bear-skin rug except he is white, fluffy and a bear-blanket.

The husband first used Bear to lull M back to sleep in his crib and eventually it caught on. Bear and M soon became inseparable. Bear has come on vacation, to the grocery store and to the gas station. Bear had a coat for winter and his own pillow and blanket (Mommy, he can’t get cold) and he even accompanied M on his first day of pre-k (Bear waited in the car).

All the other kids know how special Bear is and if they see him lying around, they always make sure to bring him to M here you go here is your Bear! they say with a proud smile.

M is my very first-born (he beat J by 1 minute) and has been high maintenance since the womb. He was the one who kicked at 3am and jammed his foot in my rib cage. When he was born he rarely slept and at 6 weeks old he developed a pyloric stenosis which required surgery. He also has a temper and is not afraid to show it.

All in all though, M is my mush and a total Mama’s Boy. He is always telling me he loves and misses me and drawing pictures of us with the caption “I love Mommy”. He loves when I hug him and sing him the Baby M song (an original by me).

Not too long ago I came down with a sinus infection. This thing kicked my ass and I was useless for days. I would put a dvd on and beg the kids to just play nice so Mommy could rest. They would kill each other, scream, cry and pry my eyes open but what did I expect from 4 boys ages 6 and under.

I was lying on my bed on the verge of tears when M came in. What’s the matter, is someone hurt? I mumbled. No. No Mom. Are you ok, does your head hurt? he asked No Mommy is fine, I just don’t feel good right now. Why don’t you go watch a movie? I said as I turned over.

Mom…mommy…I…I just wanted to give you Beary, he will make you feel better.

O-M-G does it get any better than that??!

M was right, Bear did make me feel better. In fact, Bear has made me feel better at other times as well. If I am sad or having a bad day and I see Bear lying on the couch I will give him a hug and for a split second I feel better.

When I was M’s age I had my own “bear”  his name was Doughboy and he was made out of a sock. My mom had made it at some class and me and Doughboy were best friends.

He came with me everywhere and I loved him. Over the years he started to gray a little around the edges and eventually he was replaced by “Dog” a shaggy, stuffed animal who I still sleep with. Dog came with me to college and has been there in good times and bad (and lately drama – he deserves a medal).

I still have Doughboy, he is safely tucked away in my hope chest, away from tiny hands that rip and tear at things. Dog is on my bed and is frequently the subject of fights with L who yells  No that MY puppy no mommy’s!

M often asks if Bear will be with him when he grows up. He is afraid that big boys can’t have a Bear. I tell him that Bear will always be with him and will always be there for him. I hope he believes me. If by some chance Bear does accidently get left behind I’ll be sure to keep him safe.


Single Post Navigation

2 thoughts on “Bear

  1. Roberta Roe on said:

    Brad has Petsy da Dog; he left Petsy in PA. I had to pay for Petsy to fly overnight (UPS) to Atlanta. At the time I could fly to Atlanta cheaper on Delta! Jackson has Polar, at one time he was white but has gone over to the dark side and is now a black bear. Emma has a mint green unicorn that Santa brought her, Emma named her Sparkles. She was very excited to receive Sparkles but also excited to inform us that Santa must shop at Toys R Us because she saw Sparkles on the second aisle! May I suggest that when the movie Ted comes out you buy it for M. He is too young ( by years) to see it but it is a very funny about a man and his best friend Ted( his childhood teddy). Jackson and Brad told me it was really funny… so funny even Dave laughed! R

  2. terri basile on said:

    he asked me one day if he could keep bear forever even when he was a big man i told him the same bear can be with him forever

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: