trying to find myself and humor in life

Seriously am I funny?

Growing up I was not thought of as “the funny one” in the family, or even in general. I was a bunch of other things – shy, quiet, easily intimidated, fat, sensitive, sarcastic and nice  – but never funny.

In school we had our share of “class clowns.”  In grammar school it was usually a boy, someone who would would fall down on purpose or make another kid hit him or throw something at his head to make everyone else laugh. 

In high school we were mature adolescents, young adults, and we were far too “cool” to be funny. However, there was still the “class clown” (J.G.) or the kid who always had a funny, sometimes sarcastic, comment (M.H.) to a teacher that would garnish a huge laugh out of the class.

This was not me, although I was the butt of several jokes in grammar school.

Sure, my close friends would laugh at my stories or things I would say, I can be a tad sarcastic,  but even then I was not the funny one. R was (and is) funny. She doesn’t even have to try, she just is.

Not funny in an LOL way but in the way she can tell a story or make a comparison or reference. Whenever I see R, even if it has been years, I am laughing within minutes.

In college, I came out of my shell,  a teeny, tiny bit, and learned to detract attention from myself by simply making fun of myself. This was easy and I was VERY good at it. I could make fun of my hair (Jersey Girl hair), an outfit or any social situation (let’s just say dating was NOT my forte).

I felt like it people were laughing at me (or with me), they wouldn’t realize what a mess I was or see all my faults. They would like me more if they thought I was funny right?

But does making fun of yourself count as being funny?

I will admit to having a way with sarcasm and, over the years, I have honed my craft.  I may not always be the quickest (I blame this on moving to Central New Jersey, Mrs. Jeter will agree), but I can usually come up with something.

My close friends, and even co-workers, almost expect if from me and as I result, don’t believe when I am actually being sincere. I can not tell you how many times Midgie has told me to Shut the hell up when I am being 100% sincere.

I will let you in on a little secret though, I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. You are shocked right? I know, those who really know me had no idea right?

I have found, over the years, that it’s waaaaayyyyyy easier to throw out a sarcastic comment during a bad work review or a fight with the husband, rather than face the problem.

If I am in a situation where I feel uncomfortable or nervous, one or two words, tinged with sarcasm, can make all the difference – unless the people you are with don’t “get” what you are saying and then you have to explain yourself and it becomes a disaster.

Once I had the boys I noticed I started using sarcasm more as an excuse for my parenting, or lack thereof. With the twins I had ZERO idea what I was doing (hell, I still don’t know) and I didn’t want anyone to know. I wanted, needed, the approval of family, strangers and the pediatricians so I constantly made fun of myself or made sarcastic comments to lighten up any situation.

If someone was laughing at the way I dealt with holding a newborn while simultaneously taking a london broil out of the oven, it masked the total and utter incompetence I felt. Me telling the story of hiding in the closet (and being discovered) by 4, screaming boys, sounds funny and way better than me admitting I was at the end of my rope and wanted to run away.

Does this really qualify as making me a funny person?

Last night I got to kettle bell class early, and the instructor and I were chatting in the waiting room. I started telling her about my aches and pains and how I had showed everyone my bruise to prove that I was “a bad ass”. She was laughing and said You are funny! and I thought Me?

Since I have started this blog I have had friends and complete strangers tell me my blogs are funny. In keeping with my insecure, unconfident way, I ALWAYS assume they are just being nice. I don’t know, maybe I am just a good storyteller or maybe I really am funny.

Either way I guess I will just keeping doing what I am doing until someone complains (very loudly). After all, to know me it so love me 🙂


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2 thoughts on “Seriously am I funny?

  1. Yes, you are funny. Sarcastic, yes, but funny also. And I was shocked to hear that you mask your insecurities with sarcasm – that is a new one on me!

  2. terri basile on said:

    i can vouch for the sarcasm

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