My Past May Enter My Present….
I was not a serial dater in my youth. If anything, I was the constant “wing-man” for my friends through out high school and college. I was the sorta-cute, shy friend who accompanied my friend (usually D) to meet whatever guy she was dating/hooking up with at the time.
The “guy” usually brought along a friend or 2 with him so the “wing-men” were responsible for entertaining each other.
sometimes it was great and the friend would be cute and drive a nice car (R the Fed-Ex man from Bayonne who drove an Acura). Sometimes it was not so great (A the uber-Italian from Hoboken with ZERO kissing skills).
Once I even lucked out and got a pseudo boyfriend out of the deal for a whole 2 weeks. C was a college-bound, red-head who dedicated the Phil Collins song “Groovy Kind of Love” to me on the radio and bought me an East Strasburg University t-shirt.
I did a little better in college (well not really) and managed to get dates to most of my sorority’s hayrides and formals – the majority of these dates were blind dates but that’s irrelevant.
As in my wing-man days, sometimes these “dates” were a disaster – D the U of D cheerleader who was nowhere near as smitten with me as I was with him; P the fraternity brother of someone’s boyfriend who had yet to come out of the closet; or R who was sick and sniffled the entire date party before passing out on the bus.
However, there was a time or 2 when I hit the jack pot – B the cute, shy blond guy from Hockessin, DE who was my first “college boyfriend” before we parted ways
he dumped me over the phone.
Time moved on, I grew up, found my “style” and eventually got married (having met the husband on a blind date I guess some things never change).
Sometimes I would find myself daydreaming about an ex or talking about a former crush with my girlfriends – Do you think he is married? I bet his wife is gorgeous. I wonder if he still has that great hair? I bet he is still as cute as he was in xxxx!
It was all pretty safe and innocent since the chances of me and any of these people’s paths crossing was slim to none. That is until Facebook.
Facebook opened up a whole, new, HUGE cyber-world where suddenly, people from your past were requesting to be your friend and posting pictures of themselves and their families. Now you could innocently “stalk” an old flame or crush and see exactly what they had been up to all these years (i.e. if they were still as hot as you had remembered).
It was fun in the beginning and very controlled. I only posted “good” pictures of myself, ones that showed me looking my best with make-up and even the occasional blow-out – a far cry from my usual, everyday harried self.
This insured that people from my past would surely regret the day they dumped/ignored/rejected me – at least this is what I told myself.
Immature and petty yes, but hey, it made me feel better. Heck sometimes it even worked. There have been a couple of times that I have actually received a random message/post from an ex or old friend.
We have exchanged pleasantries, complemented each other on how neither of us had changed and told one another what cute kids we each had.
Again, it was safe and controlled. But what if you actually see someone from your past, in person?? There is nowhere to hide if you are standing face to face with someone you havent seen in 20 years??!
In a couple of weeks, Mrs. Jeter and I are taking a road trip to U of Delaware for a weekend. We are going to pretend we are 21 again and drink and hang out at our old haunts. The plan is to drink a lot and sleep late and take pictures in front of our old dorms.
It’s a pretty tame for a road trip, but we are excited nonetheless. Mrs. Jeter and I told friends that we will be in town so there is a chance we will see people neither of us have seen in 20+ years. This scares the crap out of me, especially since one of the people I mentioned the trip to was B the boy from Hockessin, DE (see above).
The last time I saw B, I was 19yo and living in Pencader A up near the Towers. I had a bad perm (don’t ask) and wore my jeans pegged with a braided belt (it was 1992).
In 1992, B was tall and lanky and wore clothes from the Gap with maybe a J Crew Barn Jacket (I might be wrong on this but EVERYONE wore a barn jacket at U of D).
We connected on Facebook a few years ago and exchange posts every once in a while. B is happily married with 2 kids living in the suburbs and, based on their recent family photo shoot, his family is SUPER cute.
B and his wife are going to meet me and Mrs. Jeter for dinner when we are in Delaware. We are supposed to go to the Deer Park (Jeter has VERY fond memories of the DP) and I am a nervous wreck.
Twenty years is a LOOOOOONNNNG time. What will B and his wife think of me? Will they like me or will they make an excuse and leave after one drink?
Yesterday I was actually shopping for a shirt to wear to the Deer Park. This is INSANE especially if you have been to the Deer Park.
I have no idea what I am afraid of. An old friend doesn’t care if you have gained or lost 20lbs or if your hair is a little bit gray. Heck, they probably don’t care if you bought a new outfit either. Hopefully they want to see you – the good and the bad.
WIth Mrs. Jeter by my side, I will approach these friends with a smile and a big hug and fingers crossed no one will run out of the Deer Park screaming. Besides, after a couple of drinks I doubt anyone will care right and me and Mrs. Jeter are VERY fun 🙂
Who knows, maybe B is worried about seeing me too. Maybe his hair is streaked with grey and his belly won’t be as flat as it used to be. I guess only time will tell! Stay tuned.
ps – I did buy a cute, black shirt in The Loft 🙂