It’s the little things
Hello friends out there in the great and almighty blogosphere!! I am back from another blogging absence that was far too long.
I don’t know what happened. One day I was home with my herniated disk (and 3 pinched nerves) blogging about Snow Chairs and the next thing I know over a month has passed and I have written no blogs – gasp!!
Friends and family dropped hints and even offered up some blog topics but nothing worked. It wasn’t really a writer’s block, more like lack of motivation.
I was home over 8 weeks on short-term disability and while my back was healing and I was feeling better, I just felt blah.
Maybe it was the tail end of winter or the kids being sick or just life in general. Who knows. Whatever it was it caused me to almost fear the blog. I would think of a topic or idea and completely over think it.
Thoughts like Is this funny? Would anyone like it? Maybe this topic is too boring or Suppose people laugh???? were consuming me.
Once I started comparing myself to other blogs and bloggers I knew it was time for me to take a mini vacation.
I reminded myself that I started this blog for myself, not to get followers and fame (not that I would mine either LOL). I decided I would not blog again until I felt ready.
Which brings me to today Monday, April 8, 2013. Today is my first day back at work since February 5th and I was more than a little nervous to come back.
I felt like I was starting at a new school, not coming back to the place I have worked since November 2000.
I tried not to be a total Debbie Downer this morning, even when the twins yelled at me that they were too tired to get dressed.
All morning my stomach was filled with butterflies that would not go away. I changed my outfit three times before finally giving up since the kids would be late for the bus.
In the van waiting for J’s bus, I started to think about some blog topics, hoping the “right one” would magically pop into my head.
J was not a happy camper today. J is my 4yo (almost 5) with autism spectrum disorder and he is very “routine driven.” For the last 2 weeks, J’s entire routine has been out of whack and today was his first day back at school.
J sat in the van writing out words on the back of a car seat instruction manual, quietly whining that he didn’t want to go to school or see his beloved teacher Miss Heidi.
I tried telling J that I understood and that Mommy didn’t want to go to work either (what? he was the only one there to listen to me complain) but J wasn’t buying any of it.
When the bus pulled up he took a deep breath and ran toward it (he wanted to beat his friend C to the door). I yelled Hey wait…give Mommy a kiss! but he didn’t hear me or didn’t care.
I watched as he buckled himself into the bus seat and chatted with my neighbor. Suddenly the bus doors opened and the driver called my name.
Startled I asked what was wrong Nothing…J wants to give you a kiss she said.
And with that my little boy appeared, tears in his eyes, and gave me a kiss before getting back in his seat and buckling himself in.
J and I got to spend a lot of “alone time” together the past couple weeks – a rarity since he shares me with 3 other brothers. Sometimes he gets lost in the craziness of our house and the demands of life.
When I got to work I was not in a good mood. Sure, I put on my “game face” as I greeted people who pretended they were SO happy to see me back in the office.
All morning I could not shake the image of J’s face when he left. Just thinking about it now makes me a little sad. I looked through the pics on my phone of some of the stuff J and I did the past couple weeks and decided (with the
nudging help of Mrs. Jeter) to do a blog.
I don’t know if this is my best blog, or if it is interesting or thought-provoking. However, I do know that every once in a awhile I need to step back and appreciate what I have and smile at the little things.
Happy Monday – hope everyone has a good week.