mommy&everything

trying to find myself and humor in life

I missed you

I have had a LOT of free time on my hands lately. Work is VERY slow and it is amazing the things that I can come up with to a) look busy and b) kill time.

I read all there is to know about Miley and twerking, Amanda Bynes, the new fall lineup and that Breaking Bad’s finale broke a bunch of records viewership wise.

I have shopped browsed my favorite retail sites, discovered some new blogs and updated my Twitter and Tumblr accounts.

I had an epiphany over my  “need” for new booties (preferably in black) and that a pair of brown and/or burgundy boots would be a great addition to my fall wardrobe.

As I look back over these “accomplishments” I am a little embarrassed. Surely there were better ways to spend my free time. 

Current events to brush-up on (Obamacare, Syria, Government Shut down), books to read or online classes to better myself.

Nope, I did not one of those things.

Friends asked Where is your blog? What happened? Are you not writing anymore?

My friend at work was bold enough to say (with tone) Ummm since you have so much time on your hands, why don’t you… I don’t know…WRITE?!

Gee, all those people must have a point, I thought. So a couple of times a week I would log into  WordPress and stare at the blank screen. Sometimes I got a few sentences or a paragraph or 2 and then inevitably I would stop.

Maybe I minimized the screen and told myself I’d “finish it up later” or I made an excuse to visit a co-worker across the hall. It didn’t matter, I could come up with a million excuses to NOT to write.

Last week I even made out a list of all the recent things that have happened to me with the boys, school starting, soccer and daycare. I surprised myself with the size of the list.

Heck…that’s enough blog topics for a month at least! I proudly told myself, right before getting up to visit my friend Nicole and check my Iphone.

Even Mrs. Jeter was concerned. Once in a while, ever so slightly, Jeter would casually ask me what was up with my blog or if I had read the Daily Prompt or Weekly Writing Challenge.

At lunch with my former secretary (she’s retired – LUCKY woman) last Monday, my blog came up. Nicole….what happened??! I used to catch up with you and your life by reading your blog. It was like the old days when we talked over the wall. You HAVE to go back! she pleaded over lettuce wraps at P.F. Changs.

Then today I had to write a letter. Specifically, a persuasive letter to “sell” a particular product. This product was not the most qualified, but it had a lot of potential and just needed a nudge to move it along.

For almost 2 hours I sat at my desk and concentrated on this letter. I didn’t get up to make small talk or check out the sale at The Gap. Rather I focused on the task at hand, and, after several revisions, I finished the letter.

Holy Crap! Did I really write that?? I thought as I gave it a final once over before emailing it off to the client. Damn, that was pretty good.

A little while later I realized something. For that little bit of time I was writing, even though it was just a letter, I was enjoying myself. I was able to use my brain and come up with a final product that didn’t suck!

I was able to get myself back into the “zone” when everything around me sort of moves out of focus, and I just type. The words and thoughts are on the page without me realizing it and before I know it the blog is done. Those are my favorite times and some of my favorite blogs.

I miss blogging. I have been lying to myself all these weeks. Telling myself I don’t “write” I blog. What’s the big deal it’s just some stupid blog where I babble on for 1000 or so words. Meh.

Sure, it’s not rocket science and maybe my topics are not serious life and death things but really…who cares.

I do it for me. It is to help me find the humor in life and to help me see things from a different perspective. It is a way for me to “escape my reality” even for just a little while.

I would like to scream from my cubicle that I AM BACK but let’s be honest, it’s a Thursday afternoon.

This weekend I have to change the kids’ clothes around from summer to fall. There are bathrooms that need to be cleaned, soccer and a birthday party (note to self: buy gift).

Who knows, maybe I will find some time to write a blog or maybe I will start fresh on Monday. Either way, at least I know I can do it and more importantly, that I want to do it.

I think I feel a Random Monday Thoughts forming in my head now…..

Have a good weekend and thanks for reading 🙂

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One thought on “I missed you

  1. Sheesh it’s about time!! 😉

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