The weather in Central New Jersey the past couple of weeks has made me think about packing up and running away to a warmer climate. I am a much happier person when it is in the high 70s with little to no humidity.
2014 has brought us snow and frigid temps (sometimes dipping below zero) all the result of some “polar vortex”.
Combine that with the dreariness of January and 4 housebound kids and I for one will be cheering on Punxsutawney Phil come February 2nd.
Last Saturday the boys and I were trapped at home (the battery died in the mini-van) and the “natives were getting restless”. Everyone was sick of each other, “bored” with their new toys from Santa and DID NOT WANT TO WATCH TV.
With 5 more hours until bedtime and a war brewing over a game of Candyland I knew what I had to do.
It was time for…..SNOW.
Hey…do you guys want to go play outside in the snow? I asked with mock enthusiasm.
What snow…you mean the real snow? said the 4yo.
Yes the real snow outside…won’t it be fun??
I guess…can you give me a couple of minutes? one of the twins asked I really want to finish my game.
I HATE the snow.
Yes, it looks pretty when it is freshly fallen (not when it is piled up and black on the side of the road) and nothing is cuter than a newly built snowman.
However, it is also cold and wet AND I have to dress FOUR boys in snow clothes before we can even make our way down the stairs to find boots and gloves.
Dressing 4 kids to go play in the snow is probably the equivalent to getting a tooth pulled sans Novocaine.
First I have to gather them in one room. Next comes adding layers of warm clothing amid the complaints of I don’t wanna wear this sweatshirt, it’s too small. Can’t we just go outside already, I don’t want to wait for (insert brother’s name)! MOM…where are my snowpants?
After what seemed like an eternity, me and my crew began to head downstairs for boots and gloves.
Damn Lands End for only having black boots on sale last season! All 8 boots look exactly the same size!!!
Finally we’re ready! I line the kids up and tell them to wait on the porch. I turned around and saw J sitting on the step. Our conversation went like this:
Me: What’s the matter?
J: I don’t know.
Me (beginning to sweat from the layers) Ummmm..well something must be wrong if you are sitting here and not outside with your brothers. Do you feel ok?
J: I guess so.
Me (void of all patience): Then what is the matter??!
J: These mittens don’t fit.
Me: What do you mean they don’t fit? M is wearing the same ones. Let me see!
J holds his hand up and there is this HUGE mitten hanging off. Oh crap! They are too big I think as I dump out the baskets filled with miscellaneous mittens and gloves. Crap!! There are no more matching pairs AND no more waterproof ones. I HATE SNOW!!
Ok J, we are going to have to improvise I tell him and hand him mis-matched mittens. Here, put this on first.
J takes the mitten and just stares at it like it was something he has never seen before.
J…PUT THE MITTEN ON YOUR BROTHERS ARE WAITING!!!
J is fumbling with the mitten now not sure how to put it on.
OMG, what is wrong, how can he not put on a mitten??!!! I think to myself.
He is 7 AND there are only 2 holes to put your hand in! I hate snow, I hate winter and I hate my life!!
After grabbing J’s hands and shoving the mittens on we make our way out into the snow and I carefully get my phone ready for pictures – need to create everlasting memories after all!
After “accidentally” opening Facebook (to see all the FUN stuff all my “friends” were doing with their kids, therefore, making me look like Bad Mommy of the Year) I hear MOOOMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!!
Oh crap…that sounds like L.
I look over and there is L sitting waist-deep in the snow yelling and crying.
What’s the matter???!
My hands are all wet and I have snow on me! he wails.
I am not sure how much time has passed but I do know that I have run back into the house probably 20 times for water, tissues, new mittens, a shovel, a Lego man and carrots.
On one of these trips I remembered something a co-worker had told me about “painting the snow” and frantically start searching the kitchen for a spray bottle and the food coloring I bought for L’s bday cupcakes.
The kids will be SO happy when they see this, I think as I fill the bottle. OMG I am like one of those Pinterest Moms I make fun of and secretly want to be!!
The first kid I see is M.
M..look what I got we can PAINT THE SNOW! Look how cool it is I say as I start spraying the snow blue.
M looks up from building his snow man, looks at me and the blue snow and says Why would we want to make the snow blue?
Welcome to my life!
Luckily the others loved the “paint” and before long I got daring and mixed food coloring to make new colors. I even promised to buy more spray bottles so we could make rainbows next time it snowed (this also guaranteed that it will NOT snow anymore in 2014).
A few days later I was suffering from some serious Mommy Guilt. I sat on my bed browsing Netflix hoping that one day I would finally get the hang of this whole mom-thing.
I glanced at my phone (which is attached to me at all times) and noticed a new email from J’s teacher. Oh no.
Mrs. B. was telling me how great J was doing in class, how proud she was AND how he told the whole class about how much fun he had painting the snow!!
I sat stunned on the bed. Had I really done it? Did I actually create a happy memory???!!!!
Maybe the kids won’t hate me after all!