mommy&everything

trying to find myself and humor in life

Archive for the category “life”

Snips and snails and puppy dog tails

Happy Hump Day!!! Can you believe it is already Wednesday and halfway to the weekend??

Yesterday’s post was a little serious so I thought today I’d lighten it up a little. Sound good? Great!

For those of you who do not know me,  I am a mom to four boys, twins who are 9, a 7yo and my baby who is 5.

Families with 4 children are not the norm anymore so when people find out I have 4 kids AND that they’re all boys, it usually leads to a stunned look and/or a gasp.

Inevitably questions follow so today I thought I’d share and answer some of my favorite questions from the past 9 years  – please note these are in no specific order and I have been asked every single one of them

  • No I am not trying to start my own (insert sport) team
  • Why yes it is always “fun” at my house, you should stop over sometime without calling first
  • OMG yes I know how LUCKY I am to have four boys and not girls. After all, girls are SO much harder to raise than boys and I will be SO happy when they are teenagers
  • Yes, twins run in my family
  • Of course they are all best friends (see #2)
  • No actually they do not ALL play sports but we still love them anyway
  • Yes I know, my food bill will sky-rocket but for now it’s ok since they exist on Elios pizza, Eggo chocolate chip pancakes and chicken nuggets
  • No I am not trying for the girl – you know how old I am right?
  • Yes I am the “queen” of my household  and treated as such (again see #2)
  • Nope, I did not plan on having 4 children, I do not come from a large family and no, before having kids I didn’t really like kids
  • Yes, the blond one is mine and as a matter of fact, his dad DOES have blond hair
  • Yup they are all mine – would I voluntarily take 4 boys out if they were not related to me?
  • Hmmm, it’s hard to say if boys “run in my family” – they do now!
  • No, it’s NEVER quiet
  • Yes, there were (and still are) lots of hand me downs but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to buy something cute and girly
  • I don’t know if I really save a lot on clothes but I do get away with only buying 1 pair of sneakers for them
  • Yes, I know it is very sad that I was never blessed with a girl but I am sure God feels differently (this was said to me in the Carters outlet when the twins were 3 months old)
  • At this point it is hard to imagine any of them taking care of me in my old age but I guess I have a 1 in 4 chance
  • Nope, no drama in my house. I must have dreamed the episode this morning when I was told that I am no fun ever! or when the tears started because I said it was time to take a shower
  • Oh I know I will get to have my own “daughters” when the boys grow up and get married. You know how much women LOVE their mothers-in-law
  • Thank you but I am SOOOOO not managing it or “doing it”, really I am just faking it (wink wink)

Thanks for reading.

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This is what at least one of my boys looks like on any given day

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Epic Mom Fail

My work sponsored a bus trip to the Philadelphia Zoo this past weekend for “Boo at the Zoo”. This is an annual event where kids can dress up in their Halloween costumes and trick or treat at various points in the zoo. There are some Halloween displays but mostly it is an excuse for kids to dress up and get multiple sugar highs throughout the day.

I knew Boo would be crowded but I had not anticipated the zoo feeling like Walmart on Black Friday. The insanity was made worse by the strollers AND wagons that accompanied pretty much EVERYONE at the zoo. At one point, after being assaulted by a Joovy sit and stand, the husband turned to me and said where we THIS BAD when we had a stroller?

After walking around for over 4 hours in 45 degree weather (technically it was probably 53 degrees out but it was cloudy and damp) it was finally time for us to all head back to the bus. The husband and I herded the boys and started the trek back to the entrance – only after stopping to see the polar bear for the 3rd time to see if he was finally awake.

It had now started to rain and this mom was D-O-N-E.

The kids stopped throwing leaves at each other long enough to board the bus. The end was near!! We were leaving the zoo!

Everyone found their seats when suddenly I was bombarded with Mom I have to go to the bathroom. Mom, can I get a snack? Mom, I’m hungry! Can I have a snack?

Ugh. I took my seat next to Lucas who was holding a bottle of water. Mommy? I’m thirsty can I have this? Sure, have at it. I said while trying to find my seat belt.

Then, as if in slow motion, I watched the water bottle hit the floor and water spilled all over  like a river.

NO!!!!

Quickly, I asked someone if there were paper towels on the bus. They said no and handed me an unopened roll of 1-ply toilet paper.

There I was on my hands and knees trying to sop up the water (did I mention it was 1-ply?), darting in and out of rows anytime another passenger got on the bus.

Before long the mess was cleaned up and again I tried to sit down when I heard Mommy I have to go to the bathroom NOW.

Seriously?

The husband was sitting in the row behind me and I ask him to take Lucas to the bathroom at the back of the bus. What? Take him now? No way, he can wait until the bus starts moving.

Judging by the look on Lucas’ face I knew this was not an option so I grab his hand and nudged him toward the back of the bus. People were still boarding and others were getting drinks and snacks so this was no easy task.

As I stood wedged in the row with the soda cooler waitinf for a family of 5 to pass, one of the twins spotted me and asked Mom? Can I have a soda? 

I don’t care, do whatever you want. I responded just as someone turned to me with a look and said Are you alright?

Oh good, that wasn’t too embarrassing, now work people will think I am insane.

Me and Lucas make it to the bathroom and are crammed in there, me kneeling on the floor, when I remember he is wearing his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume under his coat. Yikes! This means I’ll have to pull the whole thing down so he can pee.

O-M-G. Am I on Candid Camera?

After what feels like an hour, but in reality was only 10 minutes, the bus pulls away. The kids are settled, the husband is sleeping and I am left to sit and reflect on what a horrible mother I am.

This was supposed to be a fun trip to the zoo.  All week I had visions of the boys laughing and frolicking in the zoo. Smiling and getting along with each other while they trick or treated and excitedly pointed to the animals.

A beautiful family day filled with memories and photos that someday the boys would tell their kids about.

Grandma was SO FREAKING AWESOME, she took us to Boo at the Zoo back in 2015 and it was A-MAZING! She was the best mom and we were SO lucky!

Instead it was crowded and cold and I was grumpy. I spent the majority of the day counting heads to make I didn’t lose anyone while yelling at the younger 2 to stop fighting and hitting each other.

I wasted $40 on crap food because the zoo ran out of pretzels (yes, it really happened) and I didn’t let anyone ride the swan boats or pony rides (see above regarding $40 on crap food) and we never made it back to the play area like I promised Jake (secretly I am ok with this because it’s impossible to keep track of 4 boys in an obstacle course you climb with nets and a covered slide).

Crabby mom yelled and told them to stop when they threw rocks in the duck pond (they were encouraged to do this by 2 weird kids dressed up as Thor) and got annoyed when Jake kept lagging behind because he was obsessed with reading the map.

All night I replayed my epic failures and bathed myself in mommy guilt.

Is there something wrong with me?

Maybe I just need to accept that I will never be the “fun mom”. The happy-go-lucky-all-the-kids-want-to-hang-out-with-me-mom. The mom who always comes up with fun, Pinterest-worthy activities to do on rainy days or to celebrate some obscure holiday.

The mom who takes her kids to a water park or Great Adventure AND goes on all the rides (the exception being the lazy river). The mom who dresses up in a really spooky costume on Halloween (not  cat ears with whiskers drawn on with eyeliner).

No matter how hard I try, I will never be the mom who knows the most current songs on the radio or that brightly colored crew socks ARE back in style for boys.

Sigh…

I started this blog this morning and never got a chance to finish it. A little while ago, a friend told me about a young mom of 2 small kids who died last week and it hit me like a ton of bricks. The uncertainty of it all. How short life really is and how you really do need to live in the moment and enjoy the little things like Boo at the Zoo and Jake’s map obsession.

I could sit here for hours writing about my many mom faults, but why? How will that help me be a better mom?

In the end I guess all of us moms are the same. Living each day, doing our best to raise kids who are healthy, happy, and kind to others.

Some days will be really good and others not so much – like when you spend 2 hours doing 3rd grade common core math problems after dinner.

Hopefully we succeed and years from now we’ll be lucky enough to look back and laugh about all the things we thought were SO important.

Fingers crossed!

Thanks for reading.

Cinderella

I was having lunch with someone the other day when we got to talking about kids’ Halloween costumes.  Since I have 4 boys, my family’s costumes usually lean toward a superhero or video game character. In years past we have been Super Mario, Spiderman, Blue Power Ranger, some guy with a bow from the Avengers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Leo and Raph) and The Creeper from Minecraft.

During the conversation my lunch mate made a comment about princesses and the movie Cinderella and how the fairy tale went against some of her feminist beliefs. I made a sarcastic comment about Prince Charming (shocking I know) before changing the subject but her comment stuck with me.

Cinderella is my FAVORITE Walt Disney “princess”. When I was little I loved the Prince Charming aspect – heck, I love that now and would not turn down Charming if he appeared at my doorstep in a fully loaded SUV.

However, the real reason I really loved Cindy was her dress. Seriously have you looked at it? It is the BEST princess dress. It’s got tulle, bows, ribbon AND a hoop skirt! What else could a princess ask for? She even managed to get a diamond tiara and an updo before she left for the ball. Cindy was styling!

Cinderella premiered on February 15, 1950 so yes, I can see how its themes are not feminist friendly. However, there were some good things that came out of that movie that we should appreciate and applaud.

  • Survival
    Cinderella was a survivor. She was a teenage orphan forced to live as a servant with her horrible stepmother and 3 stepsisters (also in their late teens or older) after her dad died. The dad clearly did not have a will or a good attorney since his only daughter was a servant in her own house but I guess everyone makes mistakes right?

    Anyway, Cinderella should have been a bitter and depressed person moping around and hating life. However, the girl was always smiling and singing and making the best of her situation. Teens today sulk for a week if they lose their iPhone or Wi-Fi connection and here’s Cindy trying to make the best of her situation. Cindy did what she needed to do even if that meant being nice to the evil people who made her to live in the attic and wear a ratty brown dress every day.

    Cinderella never lost hope that someday she would be able to escape her miserable life and essentially live happily ever after.

  • Confidence
    Cindy went to that ball all alone, think about that. She walked into a packed ballroom and did not know a single person. Could you do that?

    When I was 23 I went to a co-worker’s wedding alone and let me tell you, it is no easy feat, especially before the alcohol kicks in! Everywhere you turn there are people in groups laughing and talking and there you are all alone trying to find somewhere to sit or lean.

    Cindy didn’t even have an iPhone that she could pretend to check. Nope, she had to go into that ballroom with her head held high and own that room! Plus, when the Prince was chasing after her (as the clock was striking midnight) she just left him on the steps (see even then this girl played by The Rules)!

  • Sense of style
    When Cindy first heard about the ball, she and her friends gathered anything materials they could find to help her make the perfect dress – very similar to Molly Ringwald’s character Andy in the movie “Pretty in Pink.” The result was a beautiful dress that would have blown up Instagram.  Plus she could run in 3-in glass heels which is amazing in and of itself!

I know that you cannot live your life waiting for a fairy-tale because real life problems can’t be solved with a glass slipper. But every once in a while wouldn’t it be nice if they did exist?

Thanks for reading and have a Happy Hump Day!

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Blogging 101

Wow, I can not believe it has been a year since my last blog post (gasp!!)!!

How can that be?

Back in the good ‘old days of 2012-13 I was blogging almost daily. I had an intimate following and looked forward to my blogging time. It was my alone time, a time when I would block the world out and write about something that was on my mind.

The more I blogged the more comfortable I became sharing my stories, thoughts or anecdotes. While I won’t kid myself into believing my blogs were “works or art” or “profound pieces of blogging literature” (well…at least not all of them), they were honest, sincere and more importantly mine.

Everyday blog ideas would pop in my head as I drove to work, got the kids ready for school or just went about my day. On a really good day, I would start “writing” the blog way before I got in front of my computer – the words forming in my head almost effortlessly.

Then one day I couldn’t think of anything to say. Meh, it’s just writer’s block, I told myself. It’ll pass, give yourself a day or 2 to regroup.

The days turned into weeks, months and now a year!! Yikes what happened?

Over the last year there have been times when I would drive to work and an idea would pop into my head, however, when I got to work I couldn’t get the words out.

I started to worry too much about everything – would people like it? would it be funny enough? relevant enough? popular enough?

Before long I was comparing myself to other bloggers and doubting every thought that came into my head. My blog isn’t smart like Blog Y or Freshly Pressed like X Blog.

Friends and family members would always ask me why aren’t you blogging anymore? where is your blog, it always made me laugh? when will you blog again??

I never had a good answer for them and always felt a little sad after I would give them a lame excuse.

Then last week I was at a happy hour with old co-workers when someone said Hey, what happened to your blogs, you were good at them…I read them all the time.

A day or 2 later I got the email about Blogging 101 and I took it as a sign from the Blogging Gods that I was supposed to come back and write so against my better judgment I signed up.

When I read today’s assignment who am I and why I’m here it made me feel sick. What the hell was I thinking that I could go back to blogging. No one cares what I have to say. What the heck am I supposed to say?

Then I started to read the intros of the other Blogging 101 folks and the panic really started to set in. Geez, those people all have something good to share. Look at how many already wrote a post!

Finally I took a deep breath, got off the couch and dug the laptop out. It had been SO long, I could barely remember how to login to WordPress. My hands shook a little when I hit the new post button but now here I am 546 words later woo hoo!!

This is surely not my best blog but it is a start – it’s all about the baby steps after all.

Lastly, I am making myself a promise in front of you my friends in the great Blogosphere, from this point forward I will blog for me.

I will stop worrying about what others think or what other bloggers are doing and just blog for the sake of blogging – because it makes me happy and feel good about myself.

Thank you for reading. I can’t wait for tomorrow’s assignment 🙂

On the good ship lollipop…

The older I get,  the more it amazes me how I can remember every detail about something that happened in 1975 but can’t for the life of me remember where I put the twins’ Valentine’s Day card list.

Case in point….

This morning I read that the legendary actress, turned politician and diplomat, Shirley Temple Black had died at the age of 85.

Sitting on my bed, listening to L and J kill each other over a cardboard box (the screaming was still below the intervention level so technically this was my “alone time”) I had a flashback to being about 3 or 4 years old, sitting in the living room of my grandparents’ house on Chestnut Street.

I was watching tv on the floor in front of the coffee table. On the coffee table has a lace doily in the center and some random knick-knacks on top.

In my mind I am wearing a pretty pale pink dress with ruffles and black patent leather shoes – there is no way in hell this is accurate but it sounds WAY better than the shorts and t-shirt with apple juice spilled down the front that I was probably wearing.

The tv was on channel 5 or 11 but I can’t remember what the show was. I do, however, remember a commercial that came on for a Shirley Temple record album and I was completely mesmerized!

She was SO pretty with a big bow in her curly hair (my mom was not able to appreciate my curls back then so my hair was usually cut short and boy-like) and a pretty dress. She was tap dancing up and down a stair case and singing.

My two aunts were in the kitchen with Grandma and I yelled for them to hurry up and come in the living room.

Look, look! I yelled pointing to the tv. You HAVE to buy me this record PLEASE???????!!!!!!!!

My aunts looked at each other and then at me and said Sure, we’ll buy it for you. We just have to order it over the phone.

The happiness and excitement I felt was insane!!! I could not believe my aunts would really buy me that record. Soon I would be singing and tap dancing all over the house – I assumed just owning the record would give me the talent to sing and dance.

Afterwards, I remember my aunts taking me for a walk on Park Avenue (Rutherford, NJ not NYC) and I skipped along asking WHEN my record would get to my house.

Soon was all they would say.

Needless to say, it is now 2014 and I am STILL waiting for that damn record to show up on my front porch. Yes, my aunts lied to me. Imagine that?!

Looking back,  it’s funny to think about how naïve and gullible I was to even dream they would but me that record album! Luckily they made up for it over the years (lol).

LOL….so that is my Shirley Temple memory may she rest in peace.

Thanks for reading 🙂

Random Monday Thoughts

Hello and Happy Monday!

Let’s just jump into some Random Monday Thoughts shall we???

1) My new favorite app

As my family and friends will tell you (especially my mom) I spend a LOT of time on my iPhone. It’s an addiction really. If my phone is not near me at all times (this includes when I am sleeping) I begin experiencing withdrawal symptoms (lol). I can not tell you how many times the boys and I are all set to leave the house when I frantically call out WAIT…I can’t find my phone!!

If I am not checking my email or texting chances are I am on Facebook, reading some random article about a celebrity or looking at pictures on Instagram.

Anyway, since I am always on my phone, I am very particular about what wallpaper I use for my home AND lock screen. Up until a few weeks ago, the only wallpaper I ever used were pictures of the kids. It just seemed like a natural thing to do…. that was until I was introduced to the “Cuptakes” app.

“Cuptakes”, by Finely InTouch LLC,  is described as “wallpapers for the girly girls” and that is exactly what it is. There are over 350 custom wallpaper designs that to choose from. This app has it all, prints, toile, mixed patterns, glitter, bows and you should see the selection for Valentine’s Day – too cute!!

I am sure I am NOT the demographic Finely InTouch LLC was hoping to attract (40-something mom of 4 boy)  but I don’t care, I love it! Anytime I need a quick pick-me-up I  browse the app and find a happy looking wallpaper and add it to my phone.

It’s the little things in life after all right?? (lol).

2) My forgotten love…

I was browsing “My List” on Netflix the other night and decided to catch up on Don Draper and the guys at Sterling Draper Price etc otherwise known as Mad Men.

I was hesitant at first, it’s been a good year since I watched Don and the boys and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get back into the series. Suppose Don had lost his charm or Bette became likeable??? Then what would I do??

Those fears were quickly put to rest after watching the opening credits and being transported back into the 1960s world of advertising.

Don was as handsome as ever, although his wife Megan annoyed the crap out of me, and I was SO happy to be back in his world. This was especially true when Roger Sterling appeared in a scene.

OMG I had forgotten how much I LOVE Roger Sterling (i.e. John Slattery). He is SOOOOOOOOOOO handsome!! I don’t know, if it’s the white hair or his biting sense of humor but whatever it is I love him.

Sure Roger has some faults – alcoholism, adultery, narcissism – but really who among us does not have a fault or 2 right??

Btw…for those of you who know about my love for George Clooney, did you know that John Slattery is married to actress Talia Balsam in real life (Mona on Mad Men) who is the ex-wife of George Clooney.

3) Thank god for little things

Last week I came across a bunch of old pictures of me and my brother. It was funny to see how ridiculous my mother dressed us and how much me and my youngest son L resemble each other.

One of the pictures was from my senior prom circa May 1990. My prom story is an interesting one that you can read about here.

To make a long story short, it was the week of prom and I had no date! A friend of mine fixed me up at the absolute last-minute with her friend Fred the Mailman (he was also 21).  Fred and I met 2 days before prom and he was such a good sport about the whole thing.

Ours was a short-lived romance (probably 8 hours total) but it made for a great memory and story over the years.

After looking at this prom picture, however, I now see that Fred should have been given an award (or at least booze) for taking me to prom!

That poor guy!! What must have gone through his head when this big haired girl (with even bigger eyebrows) came knocking on his window on a rainy Friday night in May????

LOL!!!!!!!!! I have stared at the picture all afternoon and don’t know what is worse, the hair or eyebrows???

Ugh!! THANK GOD I have since met and formed a forever friendship with Tweezerman.

Thanks for reading. Have a good week 🙂

Fred and My Eyebrows go to prom

Fred and My Eyebrows go to prom

Random Thoughts…

Happy hump day friends (some snowed in) in the great blogosphere. It’s another snowy/icy day in the beautiful Garden State. The twins had a 90-minute delay this morning and both J & L’s schools were closed AGAIN.

Luckily for me my new nanny Wawa (i.e. my mom) is home with the kids and I am sitting all warm and quiet in my cubicle at work. It’s jeans’ day (a rarity here) and they gave us free lunch so YAY ME!

It’s been awhile so I thought I would “treat” everyone to some Random Thoughts:

1) What to watch?
I can’t remember if I told  you or not but back in the summer I got a Netflix subscription. It is THE best $8 a month that I spend!!

For months I would count down the minutes till the boys went to sleep before I could escape to my room with my iPad to binge watch Scandal, Orange is the New Black, House of Cards and Sons of Anarchy.

Olivia, Jax, Frank and Crazy Eyes were my new “friends” and I couldn’t wait to see what they were up to. I would talk about them with friends at work and Mrs. Jeter like they were real people.

Things like Huck is in a box???!!! OMG Jax cut his hair!!!! and  NOT OPIE???!!!! were uttered as much as Hey how are you?

As with all good things, however, my binge watching has come to an end. You see….I have caught up on everything (gasp!).

Sad right??

I have no idea what to do with myself now at night. I read some books (LOVED The Interestings and Me Before You) but now what???

House of Cards starts next week but I need a series with some history and at least 4 seasons to keep me going. Whatdaya think…should I try “The Walking Dead” or “Justified” or maybe “The Following” ?

Help me my blog friends. Please don’t let my binge watching addiction end this way. Any suggestions are appreciated!

2) Winter

I don’t hate winter. In face, there are some things I really like about the winter.

First, I LOVE covering up and hiding my extra 5-10lbs under layers of clothes. You just can’t hide your muffin-top nearly as well in a t-shirts and shorts as you can with a HUGE open cardigan over a pair of skinny jeans and a puffy coat.

Second, winter means I get to break out the tights and boots. Come on admit it…how happy were you when you first saw Kate break out the tights on some of her official royal outings?

Third, and this will be controversial, I like that it gets dark early.

Wait…before you yell and tell me how great it is to be able to hike and be outdoors at 8pm let me explain.

You see, I have 4 boys and one of my favorite times of day is bedtime (if you were ever at my home between the hours of 4-7pm you would understand).

It is 110 times easier to get the kids to sleep in the winter than it is in summer. What kid wants to go to bed when it is sunny out in July?? However, 7pm in January and BAM! Piece of cake.

However, I do have a gripe with winter. It seems like every January I get into a rut.

Maybe it is cabin fever from the polar vortex, my lapse of binge watching on Netflix  or the lack of sunlight in general – is it me or does it always seem more grey in January?

I don’t know what the cause is but I can feel the rut coming on strong.

Well I guess I better quickly find a show to watch, take some vitamin D and hope, despite the groundhog’s prediction last Sunday, that spring comes sooner than later.

3) My Facebook video was dumb

So I am sure you have seen that Facebook turned 10 and to celebrate Mark and the gang gave us the chance to make a highlight video of our time on Facebook.

All day yesterday I watched as friends posted their videos and couldn’t wait to do mine. I waited until I was alone (i.e. locked in the bathroom) and clicked on the link and patiently waited the 5 or so seconds until my video was complete.

The music started and I was ready. OMG I hope I don’t cry, I thought as a 2008 baby picture of my fat, little buddha baby appeared and then…..

IT SUCKED.

I have hundreds of pictures on Facebook. Pictures of the kids, my family and me. Places we have gone and memories we have made. Yet my highlight video was THE most random photo montage ever.

I even tried to make another one to see Facebook would pick better pictures (it didn’t). Oh well I guess you win some and lose some right?

In the hopes of not sounding like a total Debbie Downer Happy 10th Anniversary Facebook!!! Hopefully next time my video will make me cry tears of joy.

Thanks for reading everyone. Have a good night 🙂

**I just watched my video again and ok…it was pretty cute. I am sorry Mark and Facebook!! Thanks for the video!!

I missed you

I have had a LOT of free time on my hands lately. Work is VERY slow and it is amazing the things that I can come up with to a) look busy and b) kill time.

I read all there is to know about Miley and twerking, Amanda Bynes, the new fall lineup and that Breaking Bad’s finale broke a bunch of records viewership wise.

I have shopped browsed my favorite retail sites, discovered some new blogs and updated my Twitter and Tumblr accounts.

I had an epiphany over my  “need” for new booties (preferably in black) and that a pair of brown and/or burgundy boots would be a great addition to my fall wardrobe.

As I look back over these “accomplishments” I am a little embarrassed. Surely there were better ways to spend my free time. 

Current events to brush-up on (Obamacare, Syria, Government Shut down), books to read or online classes to better myself.

Nope, I did not one of those things.

Friends asked Where is your blog? What happened? Are you not writing anymore?

My friend at work was bold enough to say (with tone) Ummm since you have so much time on your hands, why don’t you… I don’t know…WRITE?!

Gee, all those people must have a point, I thought. So a couple of times a week I would log into  WordPress and stare at the blank screen. Sometimes I got a few sentences or a paragraph or 2 and then inevitably I would stop.

Maybe I minimized the screen and told myself I’d “finish it up later” or I made an excuse to visit a co-worker across the hall. It didn’t matter, I could come up with a million excuses to NOT to write.

Last week I even made out a list of all the recent things that have happened to me with the boys, school starting, soccer and daycare. I surprised myself with the size of the list.

Heck…that’s enough blog topics for a month at least! I proudly told myself, right before getting up to visit my friend Nicole and check my Iphone.

Even Mrs. Jeter was concerned. Once in a while, ever so slightly, Jeter would casually ask me what was up with my blog or if I had read the Daily Prompt or Weekly Writing Challenge.

At lunch with my former secretary (she’s retired – LUCKY woman) last Monday, my blog came up. Nicole….what happened??! I used to catch up with you and your life by reading your blog. It was like the old days when we talked over the wall. You HAVE to go back! she pleaded over lettuce wraps at P.F. Changs.

Then today I had to write a letter. Specifically, a persuasive letter to “sell” a particular product. This product was not the most qualified, but it had a lot of potential and just needed a nudge to move it along.

For almost 2 hours I sat at my desk and concentrated on this letter. I didn’t get up to make small talk or check out the sale at The Gap. Rather I focused on the task at hand, and, after several revisions, I finished the letter.

Holy Crap! Did I really write that?? I thought as I gave it a final once over before emailing it off to the client. Damn, that was pretty good.

A little while later I realized something. For that little bit of time I was writing, even though it was just a letter, I was enjoying myself. I was able to use my brain and come up with a final product that didn’t suck!

I was able to get myself back into the “zone” when everything around me sort of moves out of focus, and I just type. The words and thoughts are on the page without me realizing it and before I know it the blog is done. Those are my favorite times and some of my favorite blogs.

I miss blogging. I have been lying to myself all these weeks. Telling myself I don’t “write” I blog. What’s the big deal it’s just some stupid blog where I babble on for 1000 or so words. Meh.

Sure, it’s not rocket science and maybe my topics are not serious life and death things but really…who cares.

I do it for me. It is to help me find the humor in life and to help me see things from a different perspective. It is a way for me to “escape my reality” even for just a little while.

I would like to scream from my cubicle that I AM BACK but let’s be honest, it’s a Thursday afternoon.

This weekend I have to change the kids’ clothes around from summer to fall. There are bathrooms that need to be cleaned, soccer and a birthday party (note to self: buy gift).

Who knows, maybe I will find some time to write a blog or maybe I will start fresh on Monday. Either way, at least I know I can do it and more importantly, that I want to do it.

I think I feel a Random Monday Thoughts forming in my head now…..

Have a good weekend and thanks for reading 🙂

Random Monday Thoughts

Hello and Happy Monday friends out there in the great blogosphere. I am back from hiatus (again) and hope to stick around for a while and not go MIA again – at least not too soon.

Seriously, how could I disappear and not fill all of you in on the trials and tribulations of the twins starting 1st grade AND soccer, J starting kindergarten and L switching pre schools (that alone is a 3-part blog).

It’s gonna be a super fun September (insert eye roll) and I would like nothing more to take you along for the ride.

And now here is a Random Monday Thought:

1) See you in September…..

Last September I did a post titled “Happy New Year” and talked about how the month of September is technically like a new year – a new school year, fall sports and household routines.

The carefree life of summer with its late betimes, day trips to the beach and pool and beautiful weather are over. It’s time to hunker down and get back into the real world so to speak.

Personally, I need to take charge of my life (again). I have avoided reality this summer and as much as reality sucks, I do need to get back in the game. I guess it’s time to be more pro-active in a some areas  – with blogging and job searching at the top of the list.

As much as I wish I could live in a fairytale, deep down I know that is not going to happen, that it can’t happen unless I do something.

The kids are restless, they are tired of the pool, hot weather and “fun” trips to the mall and for ice cream. I can almost feel it in the air, a chapter is closing and a new one is waiting to begin.

I have no idea what expect or how to prepare for this new chapter. What I do know is that I will NOT be making any resolutions this year.

Nah, it’s better to just go with it. Trust my gut, hope for lots of luck and the help of friends and family – to not only get through this upcoming month but also survive.

All I can do now is hold on tight and try to enjoy the ride.

Have a good week.

It was a TGIF after all

Hello everyone and Happy Friday.

If I am being honest, today did not start off all that happy for me. I have been going through some personal “stuff” the past couple of weeks (I know..who hasn’t right?) and it has not been all sunshine and rainbows at Casa Chaos.

This morning I dropped the twins to camp, Jake to the bus and went on a tour of a potential daycare for L before I was finally able to come home and enjoy my Dunkin’ Donuts caramel coconut iced coffee.

In between cleaning up, throwing a load or 2 of laundry in and re-reading the daycare price quotes (OMG why did I not open my own daycare these prices are INSANE!!!) I managed to squeeze in some me-time on the couch.

SItting there I was suddenly hit with an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I would liken it to feeling as if you had been kicked in the stomach without warning.

Did you ever have one of those days or moments? Maybe it was because I was tired (happy hour last night with work friends), emotionally exhausted from life or just having an off day. Whatever it was, I was prepared for a pity party.

Great just what Nikki needs ANOTHER pity party???

Ugh. I texted Midgie and Fergie hoping one or both of them could cheer me up. They patiently listened and offered me words of comfort mixed with tough love – after all who wants a friend to just pacify you during a pity party right?

During a texting lull it hit me – I have a lunch date with Rosa today!! YES there is a light at the end of my pity tunnel today!

I have written about my dear friend Rosa before. I have known her since the 6th grade when she and the class bully hid my snow boots. It was not until high school that we became close and have been friends since the first week of school freshman year.

I can not even count how many sleep overs, hangovers and “firsts” Rosa and I (along with our friend Hiral) have experienced.

No matter how much time has passed, Rosa, Hiral and I can ALWAYS pick up right where we left off. I have known these girls, “women”, for the better part of my life. They know all the good and bad and still love me the same.

There is no impressing them or sugar coating life (well…maybe a little every now and then), therefore, there is no dissapointment just happiness.

When I saw Rosa pull up in my driveway I felt 16 again – after all it was Rosa that did the majority of chauffeuring me around until I got a car at 22.

Unfortunately, today’s lunch was a quick one since Rosa had a 2pm conference call (it makes me laugh thinking that she is a real lawyer who has confernce calls).

We settled on the diner for lunch and caught up over salads. It was by far, THE best 60 minutes I have spent all week.

When she pulled away I actually felt optimistic that maybe, just maybe, there would be some good coming my way. Maybe it wont be this month or even the next couple months but hopefully (fingers crossed, knock on wood) it will be sooner rather than later.

As I sat by the pool later on in the afternoon with the boys, I felt myself daydreaming. For a change though there wasn’t any “woe is me” thoughts (shocking right??).

Rather, it was me actually feeling confident. Yes I can do something, get a better job, a great job and finally be proud of myself.

Heck, I was feeling so motivated I actually thought about making a “vision board” since Oprah swears by them.

I am not sure how long this feeling will last or if the vision board will ever come to be but at least I know the value of friendship and am blessed to have real friends in my life.

Thanks for a great lunch Rosa xoxox

Have a good weekend everyone.

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