trying to find myself and humor in life

Archive for the category “love”

Life goes on

Hi everyone. Sorry I went MIA again – maybe that should be my new blog name (lol). After the horrific events in Boston, it felt almost disrespectful to blog about the everyday nonsense and drama in my life.

I remember being really young and my neighbor telling me to ask my mom where she was when Kennedy was shot.

I had no idea what my little friend was talking about, who the heck was “Kennedy” and why were they shot??

I did eventually ask my mom, although I can’t remember what her answer was. I asked her how she was able to remember something that happened so long ago and she said it was a life changing event, something you always remember.

Oh, ok I thought to myself before I went back to play. “Life changing” at the age of 5 is losing your favorite toy little did I know.

In the years since I have experienced a lot of life changing events and I can remember where I was for all of them.

The space shuttle Challenger explosion,  Oklahoma City bombings, Columbine, the first World Trade Center bombing, 9/11, Newtown and now Boston.

It’s sad that we as a nation and world have experienced so many horrific events in a lifetime. Sadly, we will more than likely add more to our memories over time.

Personally, I can’t let myself dwell too much on all the media coverage. Yes, I follow current events and like to know what is going on in the world, but if I devote all my waking hours to the 24/7 coverage, quite frankly, I would never leave my house or let my kids out of my sight.

I caught myself the other day, reading several articles on the young, 8yo victim in Boston. My heart broke for his family. His mom and sister both suffered serious injuries and his family is left trying to make sense of it all while trying to get through the next hours and days.

I felt myself getting into a mood and had to force myself to put the Iphone down and do something else. I don’t remember if it was refereeing an argument with the twins or helping my 3yo put on his cape.

Whatever it was, it made me realize that my kids have no idea of the troubled world we live in. Yes, they know there are “bad” people out there that do “bad” things but that’s it.

To them, not getting a toy on a Target run, their beloved Lego creation being smashed by a sibling or their pet Bella going to live with the angels in Heaven is as bad as it gets.

I envy them. They are innocent, happy and good at heart. They need to enjoy life and experience all it has to offer.

For them and for us, life goes on even after tragedy. I keep reading on all the media and social media sites how America and Americans will persevere because we are good and good always trumps evil.

It’s true. Look at all we have gone through and we always come out stronger as a nation and community.

Today my 3yo’s daycare was holding a prom for the students. Parents were encouraged to dress their little ones in their “Sunday Best” and the kids would be treated to music, snacks and LOTS of dancing.

L looked pretty darn handsome when he left for Prom today. His smile was huge and he was so proud when I told him how cute he looked.

Life goes on.

My Little Prom King

My Little Prom King


50 Shades of What??

English: Love heart

English: Love heart (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am always a little late with the current trends. I didn’t join Facebook until 2008 (although that is 4 years earlier than my brother who joined this weekend), I got my first smart phone in November,  I started “tweeting” 4 months ago and I didn’t finish the The Hunger Games trilogy until December.

Years ago I remember Mrs. Jeter telling me to read this book about a vampire who falls in love with a mortal. I thought she was insane. Then I read  “Twilight” and fell in love (literally) with Edward Cullen. Ah, the time I spend daydreaming about Edward coming to swoop me away in his Volvo.

So it came as no surprise to me that I was late in hearing about “50 Shades of Grey”. I vaguely remembered my friend CC (centraljerseyworkingmom) mentioning on FB how she was reading a series that was out of her usual genre and I would see things here and there,  but I never really any attention.

Suddenly “50 Shades” was everywhere and all anyone could talk about. Women of all ages were downloading it to their Nooks and Kindles and would blush if their significant others asked them what they were reading. It was THE book to be reading and the tabloids were having a field day casting Mr. Grey in the movie version.

The more I learned about “50 Shades” the more I knew it wasn’t for me. I am too much of a prude to read it. I turn beat red just listening to women describe the book and certain plot points.  A friend of mine gave me books 1 & 2 and I still haven’t worked up the courage to open them.

I did, however,  pass them along to Mrs. Jeter  – she is sort of like my Oprah with books. It was Mrs. Jeter who told me about Twilight, The Hunger Games and the entire Stephanie Plum series.

Mrs. Jeter initially refused to read the books, told me she had too many other things to read. Then a couple of days later, she was sending me texts about how she loved Christian and how no one would ever love her the way he loves Anastasia.

Thinking she was nuts, I asked a co-worker what she had thought of the books (I had also given her a copy). She reacted similarly to Mrs. Jeter and said she was trying to read the last book slowly so she could hold on a bit longer to Christian.

Even at my book club last month the majority of the women had read “50 Shades” and they all had a similar gleam in their eye when they would talk about Christian and say …you HAVE to read them!!!!

Honestly, besides being a prude, I just can’t bear to fall in love with a fictional character again. It has happened too many times before and it leaves me feeling a little sad when the book is done. Out of nowhere I find myself daydreaming about characters and wishing they were real.

I can’t be alone in this since I remember women being on either Team Edward or Team Jacob (duh, like Jacob is even an option). I dare you to name me a female who was not in love with Noah from The Notebook or who didn’t cry while reading The Bridges of Madison County because when Francesca stayed on the damn farm and didn’t leave with Robert.

Knowing how I am (and how I hate to feel left out), I’m pretty sure I will give in eventually and fall in love with Christian Grey.  For now, I will just pretend to not care and that I am a literary snob (lol). If and when I read the series, I promise to share my thoughts.

The one who got away (sort of)

Adele [Someone Like You]

I must admit, I was late getting on the Adele band wagon. I tried but I just could not get into “Rolling in the Deep” and when I did kisten the chorus would stick in my head all day (don’t you hate that?!).

Then I heard “Someone Like You” and OMG was I a changed woman. That song was (and is) A-Mazing!  The minute I heard it I thought it was the perfect song to listen to after a break up. Sitting in sweats, or pjs, hair in a ponytail, tear-stained face, tissues everywhere and a pint of ice cream nearby as you belt out “who would have known how bittersweet this would taste”.

Last week, on my Easter Bunny trip to Target, I saw the CD while on the check out line. It was an impulse buy I couldn’t pass up. Now I could listen to my 3 favorite songs over and over (this is what I do with CDs, I only listen to the songs I know).

Today on my ride into work I was listening to Adele and was brought back to my first real crush. This was not a run of the mill crush, this was a serious, lasted for years kind of crush and his name was C. 

Ahhhhhh. I first saw C when I was in 8th grade and my friend L took me to a high school basketball game (she was a freshman at the time). The moment I saw C time stood still, he was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen (I was 14 and had only seen George Clooney on the Facts of Life).

C and I went the same high school and I stared at him every chance I got. I am pretty sure he didn’t know I existed,  except maybe to know that I was in his brother’s class. Oh, the love I had for this boy. Just seeing him in the hallway would make my day.

I can clearly remember the day, sophomore year, when it was just me and him in the hallway under the church. I was wearing my uniform and had a banana clip in my hair (it was the late 80s) and he said HI. O-M-G I practically skipped back to class to tell my friends!

For my 15th birthday my friends gave me a picture of C that I kept in my jewelry box, it was a treasure. Nothing could compare to the excitement I felt at the party following my junior ring ceremony. C had left his varsity baseball jacket in a bedroom and I was modeling it for my friends. We were just about to take my picture in it when the police came and broke up the party (some kids thought it would be a good idea to smoke pot in the front yard – damn them!).

C was oblivious to my crush and dated a couple of girls in school. I was utterly heart-broken when he started hooking up with S, a cheerleader no less, at a basketball game. I went home that night and cried my eyes out while listening to the Tiffany song “Could’ve Been”. There is nothing like teenage heartbreak (even if the entire romance was in your head).

I  never saw C or his brother after high school (not even on Facebook if you can believe that).  I wonder what happened to him. Did he go to college? Did he move away? Did he get married and have kids? C if you ever read this just know “we could have had it all”  (lol)

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