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Yesterday started off good. I was having a good hair day, there were no major catastrophes with the kids and, most importantly, I was wearing my slimming navy pants. Ok, I can do this, only 8 hours and my weekend starts I thought as I headed into work. I was also happy because last night was going to be my first Google+ “pow wow” with some blogger moms I had gotten friendly with and I was excited to try it out.
The morning went by pretty quickly. I was working on a very
boring important project so that was keeping me busy. Around lunch time I started to get a nervous feeling in my stomach. I had J’s parent-teacher conference after work and I didn’t know what to expect. J is my 3yo with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and he attends an autism pre-k class. J has been making wonderful progress this year, he is talking more and actually making sentences and being more expressive and even socializing with some of the other kids. However, he will NOT potty train and tends to be a bit stubborn (not surprising if you knew his brothers) and I knew this was going to come up at the conference. Ugh.
My other problem with the conference is something that has nothing to do with J, it is all me. When I see J making so much progress and acting like a typical 3yo, I start to think that maybe his ASD diagnosis was a mistake. I start to tell myself that his teacher/therapists will tell me J is “cured” and we can go back to “normal.” This fantasy was squashed at our last conference so I wasn’t feeling too optimistic for this one.
Meanwhile at work, I was still diligently working on my
boring important project and it was obvious I was not going to have it completed by 4pm. I went to update my boss on the status and she was actually happy (sort of) with the progress. We chatted for a minute or 2 about my nervousness over J’s conference and then came this …I just want to give you a little constructive criticism…
For the next 20 minutes I was given enough constructive comments to last me till the end of the month. The comments weren’t all
bad constructive, I was told I was intuitive and just fail to use this at work. After hearing the words clock and watcher I excused myself since I was now late for the parent/teacher conference. The whole ride to J’s school those words swirled in my head. Super, now I was late AND in a bad mood.
I must have looked “great” when I ran in the classroom because J’s teacher asked me if I was tired before she offered me a tiny seat at a tiny table in the back of the classroom. J is not “cured” but he is doing great. His teacher and therapists told me his progress was excellent and he was a pleasure to have in class – he just needs to potty train and not be so stubborn.
I decided to treat me and the husband to chinese for dinner since I was tired
still feeling sorry for myself. The next couple hours were a blur of cleaning up, baths and bedtime – and trying to come up with 3 pieces of green clothing for everyone’s respective “green day” at school. Before I knew it, it was time for the “pow wow”. I was a little nervous about being on a camera but thought it wouldn’t be too bad, after all it was 9pm on a Thursday night. I logged on to Google+ and all of the sudden I was not only staring at the faces of 4 other mommies, I was also staring at myself . O-M-G was all I could think, would it have killed me to have put on some concealer or at least a little lip gloss before I met these women??!!
The chat was great once I was able to
postition the computer so my head was cut off stop staring at myself. It was nice to hear what other moms had to say about their lives and chaotic mornings.
Lying in bed, thinking over my day, I realized it was not the worst day. Yes the constructive criticism sucked (and I have gotten enough lately to last me a lifetime) but in the grand scheme of things how much does that matter? When I am 80 (god willing) I hope I not to be remembered for what I accomplished at the office but rather for what I did as a mom. A mom who tried (sometimes successfully) to raise her 4 boys to be happy, healthy and kind people.
ps – I PROMISE for the next cyber pow wow to have some make-up on :)