mommy&everything

trying to find myself and humor in life

Archive for the tag “working mom”

Snips and snails and puppy dog tails

Happy Hump Day!!! Can you believe it is already Wednesday and halfway to the weekend??

Yesterday’s post was a little serious so I thought today I’d lighten it up a little. Sound good? Great!

For those of you who do not know me,  I am a mom to four boys, twins who are 9, a 7yo and my baby who is 5.

Families with 4 children are not the norm anymore so when people find out I have 4 kids AND that they’re all boys, it usually leads to a stunned look and/or a gasp.

Inevitably questions follow so today I thought I’d share and answer some of my favorite questions from the past 9 years  – please note these are in no specific order and I have been asked every single one of them

  • No I am not trying to start my own (insert sport) team
  • Why yes it is always “fun” at my house, you should stop over sometime without calling first
  • OMG yes I know how LUCKY I am to have four boys and not girls. After all, girls are SO much harder to raise than boys and I will be SO happy when they are teenagers
  • Yes, twins run in my family
  • Of course they are all best friends (see #2)
  • No actually they do not ALL play sports but we still love them anyway
  • Yes I know, my food bill will sky-rocket but for now it’s ok since they exist on Elios pizza, Eggo chocolate chip pancakes and chicken nuggets
  • No I am not trying for the girl – you know how old I am right?
  • Yes I am the “queen” of my household  and treated as such (again see #2)
  • Nope, I did not plan on having 4 children, I do not come from a large family and no, before having kids I didn’t really like kids
  • Yes, the blond one is mine and as a matter of fact, his dad DOES have blond hair
  • Yup they are all mine – would I voluntarily take 4 boys out if they were not related to me?
  • Hmmm, it’s hard to say if boys “run in my family” – they do now!
  • No, it’s NEVER quiet
  • Yes, there were (and still are) lots of hand me downs but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to buy something cute and girly
  • I don’t know if I really save a lot on clothes but I do get away with only buying 1 pair of sneakers for them
  • Yes, I know it is very sad that I was never blessed with a girl but I am sure God feels differently (this was said to me in the Carters outlet when the twins were 3 months old)
  • At this point it is hard to imagine any of them taking care of me in my old age but I guess I have a 1 in 4 chance
  • Nope, no drama in my house. I must have dreamed the episode this morning when I was told that I am no fun ever! or when the tears started because I said it was time to take a shower
  • Oh I know I will get to have my own “daughters” when the boys grow up and get married. You know how much women LOVE their mothers-in-law
  • Thank you but I am SOOOOO not managing it or “doing it”, really I am just faking it (wink wink)

Thanks for reading.

1download (2)

This is what at least one of my boys looks like on any given day

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Are you there Fairy Godmother, it’s me Cindy

Cinderella - Prince Charming & Cinderella

Cinderella - Prince Charming & Cinderella (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dear Fair Godmother,

I am starting to worry, I haven’t heard from you in ages, is everything ok? Did you “forget” to send me your new mailing address again?

Anyway, my fairytale is just not happening the way we had discussed. I know, it’s my fairytale and I can’t compare myself to others (Snow White with a prince and a bunch of “little” men, Rapunzel with all that great hair or even Sleeping Beauty who actually gets a full nights sleep). But can’t you wave your wand and tweak a couple of things?

FG, when I said I wanted to be a successful, working mom, I was thinking of  a career doing something I love, something with meaning – or at least making 6 figures. Not working 8-4 and paying close to 6 figures for health benefits for Prince Charming and the 4 princes.

If I must work, can’t you arrange for me to get ready in a peaceful atmosphere? Maybe a vanity with a velvet cushioned stool and perfect lighting where I can sit and put on my make-up ALONE.  Standing in a cramped bathroom, where there is always a bulb out, trying to tweeze my eyebrows while L continuously flushes the toilet while throwing my Bobbi Brown eyeshadows ($22/each) all over the floor was not what I had in mind.

A huge walk-in-closet with racks of clothing (that all fit) arranged by color and a full length mirror I could twirl in front of would be nice. Instead I share a closet with Prince C and the kids and if I want to twirl, I have to walk through the kids’ room, over a pile of toys, and stand in hallway (remember those ugly mirrored doors in front of the washer/dryer we talked about).

Also, didn’t we had discuss how a working mom needs lots and lots of shoes, in a variety of heel heights and styles?  You must have forgotten, why else would I have to crawl around on the closet floor looking for the missing left heel (as I wear the right) with J asking me for a red juice and M asking me who Bobafet is?

While on the topic of clothes FG, could you make me 5 inches taller? I know that I am almost 40 (ouch) and long past any growth spurt (at least a vertical one) but apparently pants are only made for people 5’8 or above.  A couple of inches would really save me time in the morning (no more scrambling around in my closet for a pair of shoes high enough so my pants wont drag on the floor) and money at the tailor ($10/hem?!).

Sorry to go off on a tangent, what were we talking about? Oh my working mom fairytale. Let’s discuss childcare. I thought a nanny was a given. Someone like Supernanny or Mary Poppins (or even the chick from the Sound of Music). A firm yet motherly type who would whip the kids into shape and have dinner on the table by 5. Not my poor aunt and uncle who walk in to complete and total chaos every morning. Today L was wearing a bike helmet and his brother’s sneakers, clawing at the door to go outside and ride his scooter,  J was crying for a lollipop and the other J standing half-naked in the bathroom watching Dora.

Lastly, why do all the radio stations play commercials, or Katy Perry, at the same time? How is a princess supposed to clear her head and get ready for the day when she is stuck listening to commercials for hair removal or pet supplies or that damn Firework song?

I have to wrap up, since I am writing this at work.  I would really appreciate a response, please don’t make me Google you again. Thanks so much for your time!!

Cinderella

ps – what the hell happened to the Lunch Fairy? I had to bring  pb&j and a bag of jellybeans for lunch today.

The good, the bad and would it have killed her to put some lipgloss on

Lipstick and lipgloss

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday started off good. I was having a good hair day, there were no major catastrophes with the kids and, most importantly, I was wearing my slimming navy pants. Ok, I can do this, only 8 hours and my weekend starts I thought as I headed into work. I was also happy because last night was going to be my first Google+ “pow wow” with some blogger moms I had gotten friendly with and I was excited to try it out.

The morning went by pretty quickly. I was working on a very boring important project so that was keeping me busy. Around lunch time I started to get a nervous feeling  in my stomach. I had J’s parent-teacher conference after work and I didn’t  know what to expect. J is my 3yo with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and he attends an autism pre-k class. J has been making wonderful progress this year, he is talking more and actually making sentences and being more expressive and even socializing with some of the other kids. However, he will NOT potty train and tends to be a bit stubborn (not surprising if you knew his brothers) and I knew this was going to come up at the conference. Ugh.

My other problem with the conference is something that has nothing to do with J, it is all me. When I see J making so much progress and acting like a typical 3yo, I start to think that maybe his ASD diagnosis was a mistake. I start to tell myself that his teacher/therapists will tell me J is “cured” and we can go back to “normal.”  This fantasy was squashed at our last conference so I wasn’t feeling too optimistic for this one.

Meanwhile at work, I was still diligently working on my boring important project and it was obvious I was not going to have it completed by 4pm. I went to update my boss on the status and she was actually happy (sort of) with the progress. We chatted for a minute or 2 about my nervousness over J’s conference and then came this …I just want to give you a little constructive criticism…

For the next 20 minutes I was given enough constructive comments to last me till the end of the month. The comments weren’t all bad constructive, I was told I was intuitive and just fail to use this  at work. After hearing the words clock and watcher I excused myself since I was now late for the parent/teacher conference. The whole ride to J’s school those words swirled in my head. Super, now I was late AND in a bad mood.  

I must have looked “great” when I ran in the classroom because J’s teacher asked me if I was tired before she offered me a tiny seat at a tiny table in the back of the classroom. J is not “cured” but he is doing great. His teacher and therapists told me his progress was excellent and he was a pleasure to have in class – he just needs to potty train and not be so stubborn.

I decided to treat me and the husband to chinese for dinner since I was tired still feeling sorry for myself.  The next couple hours were a blur of cleaning up, baths and bedtime  – and  trying to come up with 3 pieces of green clothing for everyone’s respective “green day” at school. Before I knew it, it was time for the “pow wow”. I was a little nervous about being on a camera but thought it wouldn’t be too bad, after all it was 9pm on a Thursday night. I logged on to Google+ and all of the sudden I was not only staring at the faces of 4 other mommies, I was also staring at myself . O-M-G was all I could think, would it have killed me to have put on some concealer or at least a little lip gloss before I met these women??!!

The chat was great once I was able to postition the computer so my head was cut off stop staring at myself. It was nice to hear what other moms had to say about their lives and chaotic mornings.

Lying in bed, thinking over my day, I realized it was not the worst day. Yes the constructive criticism sucked (and I have gotten enough lately to last me a lifetime) but in the grand scheme of things how much does that matter? When I am 80 (god willing) I hope I not to be  remembered for what I accomplished at the office but rather for what I did as a mom. A mom who tried (sometimes successfully) to raise her 4 boys to be happy, healthy and kind people. 

ps – I PROMISE for the next cyber pow wow to have some make-up on 🙂

My Life Sucked Today or Maybe it was Just an Inconvenience

English: Dunkin Donuts Dozen Donuts Box

Image via Wikipedia

You know when you are just having one of those weeks? A week when at the end of each day you tell yourself tomorrow will be better and then tomorrow comes and it’s not. Welcome to my week!

I really thought nothing could top Tuesday (the day of my horrible “tough love” review at work). Well today ran a close second and left me saying my life sucks all day. Today was day #4 of no babysitter. I had used up all the alternate sitters so it was my turn to stay home (again). Lucky me also had a project due today at 4pm. No need to panic, I can do this I thought to myself. I emailed everyone at work and advised that I would complete the project from home. Piece of cake right?

NO! After I hit send I realized a) there would be 3 kids home with me, b) I needed to stop into the office to pick up some stuff to complete the project and c) J has out-patient speech on Thursdays at 8am and needs a ride to school afterwards. HELP!

I arranged for my uncle to take J to speech and school so that was one thing off my list. Well sort of , except J decided he wasn’t leaving the house today. This meant I had to carry him to the car (with no coat) and me wearing no shoes or socks. Did I mention it was raining and 38 degrees out?

Next was the trip into work with the twins and L (my 2yo terror). I tried to make the trip sound fun but the twins had already seen where I work so they were on to me. So I did the next best thing, I bribed them. Today’s bribe was munchkins as many as they wanted. Too bad I had to dig around for their Valentine’s Day money to pay for them since I had given my uncle my debit card for J’s speech.

The complaining started as soon as we pulled out of my complex but I raised the volume on the radio and ignored it the best I could. Overall the trip into work wasnt too disastrous and the kids were fairly well behaved unless you count L getting pushed off my chair and hitting his head on the wall, the twins killing each over the buttons in the elevator and L hitting the alarm button in the elevator on our way out. On the van ride home the kids sang along to the radio and I chanted my life sucks in my head.

I set the kids up with munchkins and Nick Jr. and attempted to “work” in my office kitchen when we got home. The kids would come in every 10 minutes to announce that they were thirsty or hungry or tired or bored and I would ignore them mostly. At one point I found myself telling M it was time he taught himself how to pour orange juice and telling L to go take a nap (like that would ever happen). In between, I also managed to do some laundry, clean up spilled orange juice (L not M), take the dog out, play phone tag with the IS guy at work about the error message on my computer and get J off the bus.

Somehow it all got done. The error message went away and the project was complete. The kids were fed and bathed and even played some Wii bowling before bed. Now as I sit here and recap my day I think it was probably unfair of me to say my life sucked today. No it was not a great day but did it really suck? Maybe everything that happened, the sick sitter, the work project, kids fighting, J’s tantrum , etc. were just inconveniences. Inconveniences that helped me prove to myself that I could make it till bedtime and finish what I needed to do.

I can’t promise that I will not use the mantra “my life sucks” again. In fact, I can’t promise that it won’t be used again this weekend or tomorrow for that matter. However, I will try to stop and think before I use it – and make sure I have plenty of munchkins to use for bribes.

TGIF…well sort of

Thank God It's Friday

Image via Wikipedia

Happy Friday! Fridays are a mixed bag of emotions for me. You see, I am off on Fridays. Let me clarify that, I do not go into the office, sit in my cubicle and “work” on Fridays. Instead I am  at home “working” (ie: tending to my 4 boys (under the age of 6),  their various schedules and all the stuff I put off doing during the week).

My hat’s off to you moms (and dads) who stay home everyday with your kids! Being home is 100% harder than working outside the home. When I am at work I can leave some of my mom duties at home. Sure there are still phone calls and parent/teacher conferences but for 8 hours I don’t have to worry about making sure the kids are dressed/teeth brushed (my aunt does this for me – thank you) or if I need to switch the wet clothes over to the dryer. Better yet, I do not have to referee a fight between my twins as M uses his Spiderman umbrella as a lightsaber on J.

Work is sometimes like my oasis, well relatively speaking. While at work I can make phone calls and not be interrupted. I can eat my lunch without having to get up to get M lemonade or J water or to clean up the pretzels that spilled on the floor. I can have an adult conversation about things other than Batman and Team Umizoomi and I don’t have to change any diapers!! Also it’s quiet at work and I can hear myself think.

Don’t get me wrong, on Fridays I like not having to get up at 5:30 to jump in the shower before the husband and I kind of like not having a specific schedule to adhere to. I do love when the kids  look at me with excitement in their eyes and ask “mommy…are you really  home with us today?” I like having lunch together and letting the kids hang out in their pjs a little longer than usual – we even take 3yo J to the bus stop in pjs (the kids not me – usually).

What I don’t like on Fridays is the lack of schedule (OMG is it already time to leave for the bus and I didn’t make J’s lunch yet?), the vacuuming and bathroom cleaning (didn’t I just clean that bathroom) and the laundry –  the mounds and piles I have put off for the past couple days thinking the Laundry Fairy would come do it for me.

Now as I sit in the kitchen typing, L is sleeping on the couch (miracles do happen) and  the twins are playing and fighting simultaneously, I think TGIF!  What is wrong with me??!  I miss these kids when I am at work.  Yes, they drive me CRAZY but they are also growing up  and I know sometime  soon it won’t be excitement in their eyes when they ask “mommy…are you really home with us today?”

So I am going to make the best of my Friday, I am going to make us lunch and take us to Target (I will even let them look in the toy aisle)  and I am going to appreciate my time with them and hope they enjoy their time with me.

Happy Friday everyone make it a good one.

ps – The kids are home from school until next Wednesday so I can not promise I won’t run out the front door for work next week 🙂

Hello world – it’s time to seize the day!

Hello world here I am and welcome to “mommy&everything” (thank you CC Fowler for helping me come up with a name). I have wanted to start a blog for a long time but I just could not get up the courage to do it. I would talk about it and come up with blogs in my head on the way to work (or during work depending on the type of day I was having) but I was too afraid to actually do anything about.

A couple of weeks ago I worked up the courage to actually go on WordPress and register for a site (again thank you CC Fowler) but then I started to read other blogs and thought there was NO WAY I could publish anything. All the other blogs I read were so smart/funny/witty/sarcastic/insightful, what the heck was I thinking. I completely psyched myself out and figured I would get to it at another time.

Well then last week my grandfather died. Grandpa was 93, a father to 3 daughters, grandpa to 5 and a great-grandfather to 8!! Grandpa had seen it all and then some but still he never seemed to appreciate it. Gramps was more of a glass-is-half-empty kind of person. It was always easier for Grandpa to comment on “all” his friends/family had rather than see what he had right in front of him.

That was my wake up call. I didn’t want to be 93 (God willing) and look back on my life and regret not doing something because I was scared or didn’t think I was good enough. I was tired of being afraid to try new things and always think “what if.” So I decided today is the day, today I will seize the day and start my blog!!

I know my blog will not be perfect. There are bound to be typos (you know spell check doesn’t always catch everything) and grammatical errors and I am sure others may not always get my humor (gasp) but it will be mine and I can say I did it.

So I invite you to come with me on my blogging journey. Come along with me as I share my stories of being a mommy to 4 boys while trying to balance work and all the “stuff” that life throws my way. I think Grandpa would be proud.

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